


Pretend

by thnx4thosmmrs



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Anxiety, Crushes, Endgame Niall Horan/Harry Styles, Everyone Ships Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Falling In Love, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hurt Niall, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Harry, Jealous Louis, M/M, Minor Original Character(s), Minor Perrie Edwards/Zayn Malik, Niall Horan & Zayn Malik Friendship, Niall and Louis don't get along, Oblivious Harry, Oblivious Niall, Pining, except niall, they're all american
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-20
Updated: 2018-06-27
Packaged: 2019-03-21 13:28:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 33,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13741908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thnx4thosmmrs/pseuds/thnx4thosmmrs
Summary: Niall didn't know what he was getting himself into when he agreed to be someone's fake boyfriend, but now he's more confused than ever on his feelings.All Harry wanted was to make his crush jealous, but maybe he'd had his feelings all mixed up the whole time.





	1. "into you"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Your fake date?" Niall asks slowly, not sure he understands what the weirdo wants. "I'm not sure I understand what you mean."

_"I'm so into you, I can barely breath"_ \- Ariana Grande

*

"Hey, Neil!" Someone shouted and Niall shuddered at the name. Typically he would just ignore whoever said his name wrong and keep walking, but the familiar voice made him turn around only to see one Harry Styles heading his way with a giant grin, curly hair being pushed back by some weird cloth around his head and dressed in skinny jeans really tight they made Niall wonder how he got into them.

"It's Niall, you moron," Niall corrected him with a small glare, Harry's grin only getting bigger as he now stood in front of the blonde a good few inches taller than him.

Niall and Harry aren't friends. Niall wants to think they're just classmates and nothing more because they never hang out after school and they don't even eat lunch together during their lunch period, but Niall also knows that the nineteen year old curly haired lad likes to be friendly with everyone. The whole love and peace shit vibe he gives off annoys Niall. No one can be that friendly all the time. Not even Niall who was always being considered a sunshine by almost everyone.

"I know, I just heard Louis Tomlinson calling you that during our lecture earlier today," Harry explains as if that were reason enough to call Niall by the wrong fucking name.

"Louis is a moron and most definitely not my friend, now if you'll excuse me I have places to get too," Niall informs Harry as he turns to walk towards the school building, but a large cold hand wrapping around his arm prevents him from doing so. "What? Do you need me to tutor you or something? I'm not available so go find someone else."

"No, I just really need to ask you for a huge favor."

"Harry, I'm not trying to be rude because you're a really nice guy, but why are you asking me when you have a million other friends that you could ask?" Niall asks him as he faces Harry who's still smiling, but he retracts his hand from the hold on Niall's arm he'd had.

"I know, but this is something I can't exactly ask any of my closer friends," Harry insists and Niall sighs. "Besides, it'll be a great way for us to get to know each other better."

"Alright, what is it?" Niall frowns.

"Well you know that Zayn is having a party tonight, yes?"

"Pretty sure the president knows, but yeah. What about it?"

"I need you to be my fake date. Please?"

Niall narrows his eyes at Harry, trying to wrap his head around the question as the tall guy in front of him looks at him with wide green eyes and a cute dimpled smile. He wants to say he heard wrong, but there's no denying that he heard the words fake and date in the same sentence.

"Your fake date?" Niall asks slowly, not sure he understands what the weirdo wants. "I'm not sure I understand what you mean."

"Okay look, Louis will be there and well I have this huge crush on him and I need to know if he'd be jealous if I showed up with someone as my date to the party. I mean, we've flirted a couple of times and I'm pretty sure he's into me but he's not asking me out or anything and I need to make sure if I'm right though I'm pretty sure I am," Harry explains his situation to Niall who bites his bottom lip to keep from laughing as he stares at Harry. "I mean, if he likes me it'll teach him that I'm not going to sit around and wait for him to make a move or something."

"Ask him out yourself then and leave me out of this mess, yeah? Look, I don't like Louis and I barely even know you. Why the hell would I want to help you out here?"

"Because a little birdie told me you're crushing on a certain Canadian kid," Harry teased Niall who turned bright red and glared at Harry as he looked around nervously, hoping no one heard what Harry just said.

"Do not!" Niall shouts defensively, earning a few strange looks from other students who were standing around. Harry only chuckles and raises an eyebrow at Niall. "I feel like you're stalking me. Who the hell told you?"

"Zayn."

"Of course, I don't talk to him for weeks and the one time I do, he decides to tell you my secrets. And how would me pretending to date you help me in my situation?"

"Easy. Shawn's a very good friend of mine and you spending time with me equals you spending time with him! What do you say?"

"No. That doesn't help me in anyway and your plan is really immature."

Niall goes to walk away again when Harry grabs his hand this time and pulls him back until they're standing in each other's personal space and Niall can't help but blush. As annoying as Harry may be, he's gorgeous and Niall's never been so close to him. He could probably count his eyelashes if he wanted to. He even manages to see the slight specks of gold in his green eyes.

"I'll hook you up with Shawn after you help me with what I need," Harry drawled out, voice deep and smooth and Niall doesn't want to admit that it does something to him. That voice so close to his ear sends shivers down his spine and makes his belly tighten with something he can't describe. Niall doesn't want to admit that Harry Styles gets his heart racing, so instead he lies to himself and says that it's the excitement of the possibility of getting hooked up with his crush since junior year of high school.

"Fine," Niall finally agrees reluctantly, letting out a small squeak as one of Harry's hands is placed on his hip and pulls him in closer until they're chest to chest, but he has to crane his neck upwards to be able to see him now.

"Good. I'll pick you up at your dorm at around nine so be ready and look sexy," Harry says as he steps away from a shocked Niall and then he's walking away, leaving the blonde to stare after his retreating figure.

Niall heads inside the building for his next lecture, so lost in thought that he doesn't even see Shawn staring after him.

*

Once Niall's lecture ends, he heads out of the school building and towards his dorm. His roommate, Liam, isn't in so Niall sets his books on his desk and goes over to his bed where he lays down tiredly and kicks off his shoes. If he's going to party tonight, might as well take a nap.

Niall Horan is a 19 year old Irish lad in his second year of university in New York. His family and him made the move from Ireland when he was 14, so he was forced to enter high school where he met his best friend Zayn Malik. During their senior year they both decided to apply to the same colleges and got into the same one thankfully. They were roommates the first year, but now Zayn had entered a frat house that smelled like weed, booze and sex nearly every day. Niall wasn't into that kind of lifestyle so the two drifted apart quite a bit, but that was okay since Niall was focusing on doing good in his studies and he had another friend, Liam Payne who's his new roommate now.

Niall met Harry during his third week of university when the lad transferred to the morning photography class. He'd had the afternoon one, but Harry had had to make the switch because of his job. Niall hadn't ever cared enough to be Harry's friend, he wasn't even interested. The lad was always too busy being a social butterfly anyway and it was hard to get his attention so Niall didn't even bother. Though he knew that Liam was friends with Harry, as was Zayn and obviously Niall's long time crush, Shawn Mendes.

Louis Tomlinson is the type of guy who never takes anything seriously, is always on his skateboard and smokes. He plays pranks and wears the same old Vans everyday and his tattoos, as dumb as they are, are almost always on display. He's a handsome lad, Niall admitted, but annoying. The two buttheads all the time since Louis is also friends with Liam and Zayn. Niall just doesn't see what's so special about a careless lad who can't take his studies seriously. It's like all he's in uni for is to mess around. Niall doesn't understand how someone like Harry can be interested in someone like Louis. They were opposites, but apparently everyone thought they'd make a nice couple. Well Niall has thought they were together with how weirdly close they were, but Harry just proved him wrong by asking him to be his fake date to a party in a smelly house that he never planned to attend in the first.

*

"You're going to the party?" Liam asks with a hint of disbelief in his voice. Niall wasn't one to party, didn't like crowded places because of his anxiety and Liam knew it. In his two years in university, Niall's only attended three parties. One was an outdoor party so Niall had enjoyed that one, but the other two were in a house so Niall always left early because of how crowded they always got.

"Just for a bit. Are you going?" Niall asks him, putting on his denim jacket and fixing his hair in their bathroom.

"Nah. I'm still not feeling like it and besides, I'm sure Dani will be there."

"You can't avoid places because you think she'll be there. You both attend the same school Liam, you can't avoid her forever."

"I know, but I just need a bit more time to get over this heartache. And seeing her at a party and possibly flirting with another guy won't help at all," Liam replies as he looks up at Niall from his laptop. "Besides, I really need to get a head start on this project for my criminal law class. Have fun though and stay safe, Zayn's parties can get pretty wild."

"Yeah, thanks. Hopefully I won't be out long, I have to work tomorrow," Niall says with a sigh as he grabs his phone.

There's a knock on their door and Niall braces himself as he goes over to open the door, Liam's eyes burning into his back. On the other side of the door stands a smiling Harry Styles a little overdressed for a frat party, a fedora on his head and same dimpled smile that he gave Niall earlier that day that only irritated Niall because of the purpose of his smile.

"Do you always look this hot?" Harry blurts out after eyeing the blonde up and down and Niall blushed, Liam choking on his spit in the background as he watches the two with wide curious eyes. "I mean, are you ready to go?"

"Yeah," Niall mumbles, avoiding eye contact with Harry and not daring to look back at Liam. "Bye Payno."

"Hey Liam!" Harry greets his friend who waves at him.

"Bring him back in one piece!" Liam calls after them before Niall closes the door.

"Anything I should know before we get your silly plan into action?" Niall asks Harry as they walk down the stairs of the building to head to the exit.

"Are you uncomfortable with anything? Like, can I hold your hand and stuff?" Harry asks Niall who thinks about it for a few seconds. "I mean, I don't want to pressure you into anything and it would make things a bit more believeable if we acted more like a couple."

"I don't mind, just if you have to kiss me, no tongue. I don't want your spit down my throat," Niall warns Harry who laughs loudly as they reach the last step and walk towards the door.

"I promise to keep my tongue to my self. You okay with everything else though? I can wrap my arms around your waist? Touch your ass a little?"

"Jesus. Is this going to be the perfect opportunity for you to touch me inappropriately any time you want?"

"Well not all the time. Just when Louis and our other friends are around. Our mutual friends like Zayn and Liam and obviously Shawn," Harry says as he looks over at Niall with a knowing smirk and the blonde blushes, tugging at the sleeves of his jacket over his hands once they're out in the cool October night air. "Please do let me know if you're not feeling comfortable with something. The last thing I would want is for you to feel obligated to go along with it if you don't like it, yeah? We might not be friends friends, but I care about you."

"You're a nice guy Harry, I know I'll be able to trust you. Just don't make me change my mind about you," Niall tells him honestly, smiling softly up at Harry who smiled back at him.

"I promise you won't, now let's get to that party."

They walk down the street to the house, the flashing lights and loud music already visible. The closer they get the louder the music gets and the amount of college kids out in the front lawn with red cups in their hands or joints. Some are standing around with their friends, there's two girls making out on the porch and a few others are dancing on the lawn. Even though it's dark out, the porch lights are on and there are plenty of string lights.

"Ready to go in? You can still back out," Harry asks Niall, wanting to make sure he wasn't pressuring Niall into anything.

"I'm ready. Just know that I don't do well in big crowds. I'll be fine for awhile, but I'm just warning you that I won't be able to stay for long," Niall tells Harry who smiles at him in reassurance.

"No worries, yeah? If you start to feel off, just tell me and I'll walk you to your dorm."

Niall smiles and nods, trying to keep his face from morphing into a surprised expression when Harry takes his hand and laces their fingers together. The two then head inside the house where the other half of the guests are and the smell of weed hits Niall as soon as they walk in. The two stand by the front door trying to find Louis.

"Do you think he's here already?" Niall asks, leaning up to Harry's ear so the green eyed lad can hear him over the music.

"Not sure. He said he'd be here early to help Zayn set up. Come on, let's go check the kitchen," Harry says and begins to tug Niall along towards the area of the kitchen.

Harry's right and Louis is in the kitchen with Zayn, Shawn, Zayn's girlfriend Perrie and her friend Jade. As soon as the two walk in, all eyes are on them and Niall shifts his weight from one foot to the other nervously, avoiding looking at Shawn for reasons. Harry seems to sense his nerves though and he tugs Niall a little closer to his body and the blonde doesn't want to admit that it actually calms him down.

"Hi guys!" Harry greets them excitedly, glad that the music isn't so loud in the kitchen.

"Hey! Thought you wouldn't show up," Louis says as he goes over to Harry after setting his cup down and hugging him, Harry hugging back with one arm.

"You know I don't miss a good party," Harry replies with a grin and a slight blush that Niall wants to roll his eyes at because his crush for Louis is so obvious and if they're meant to be 'dating' then Harry has to lose the heart eyes everytime he looks at Louis. Niall had never met the human version of the heart eyes emoji, but now he's found Harry.

"Nialler, didn't know you were coming! I'm glad you did though," says Zayn with a smile as he goes over to hug Niall who hugs him back with one arm since his other hand is busy holding Harry's.

"Well I figured this would be a great spot to see you since it's been awhile," Niall tells him honestly, just wanting Zayn to realize that they really only saw each other every now and then around the school building.

"It has, hasn't it? I'm sorry, babes."

"It's fine." Niall smiles and Zayn pulls back with a smile of his own and goes back to Perrie's side.

"Hi, love!" Perrie greets him, going over to kiss Niall's cheek and no doubt leaving behind a faint lipstick stain.

"Hi Perrie."

After they're all done greeting each other, Harry and Niall lean against the counter opposite Louis and Shawn who are eyeing the two curiously, but more specifally their hands.

"You guys want anything to drink? I don't want anyone saying I'm a bad host, especially not my best mates," Zayn asks them and Niall chuckles a bit.

"Beer is fine," Niall tells him.

"Surprise me, Malik," Harry responds, letting go of Niall's hand to wrap his arm around his shoulders and making the blonde lean into his side more.

"Coming right up!"

Zayn got to work on their drinks, Perrie and Jade lost in their own conversation while Harry looked up at Louis briefly and watching him take a sip of his own drink with a lost look in his eyes.

"Do you think it's working?" Harry asks quietly in Niall's ear.

"Maybe. He kept staring at our hands," Niall whispers back in Harry's ear, making the curly haired lad smile which to the rest might seem like they were whispering dirty things to each other.

"So what's up with you two? I didn't even know you two were friends. Or that you even knew each other," Zayn speaks up what's on all their minds as he hands them their drinks. Niall a cup with beer and Harry a cup with who knows what kind of mixture. Niall's pretty sure he can smell vodka in it though.

"Well we met last year in a photography class and while we weren't friends exactly, we talked every now and then," Harry begins to say as he looks at each one of their friends, but lingering on Louis who definitely looks a little jealous which encourages Harry to keep going with their lie. "It wasn't until I saw him again at the start of the new school year a few weeks ago that I realized I had feelings for him but I was kinda nervous to ask him out."

"And his idea of a first date is coming to a frat party," Niall finishes off, tired of hearing Harry go on and on about their fake love story that honestly scares him at how good Harry is at lying. It's like he rehearsed it before coming to the party. Niall's comment makes Jade and Perrie giggle though and Shawn cracks a small smile though he's looking a little off now as well.

"Well not really because I actually want to take you out tomorrow, so please excuse me for not wanting to come alone to a party."

"You're adorable," Niall tells him as he looks up at Harry who grins back.

"You guys are so cute together, hope things work out for you," Jade speaks up with a large smile as she watches the two.

"Styles, Nialler here has been my best friend since we were fourteen so if you hurt him, I'll hurt you," Zayn warns Harry whose smile slips a little.

"I'll keep him safe and happy," Harry reasures Zayn and it all feels a little too real for Niall and it makes him panic for a bit, but he just takes a long sip of his beer to mask his panic.

The group falls into easy conversations before Zayn and Perrie go off to dance and Jade to find her friends, leaving behind Shawn, Louis, Niall and Harry.

"So Niall, you never told us how you began to like Harry?" Louis asks in a tone that is anything but friendly and Niall doesn't like the feeling that he just made Louis dislike him more. The two have a past that Niall would rather not get into, but if anything, it should be Niall the one who hates Louis the most.

"Um well," Niall stammers a little nervously and Harry drops his arm from around his shoulders to down to his waist, giving him a soft and reassuring squeeze. "Since last year actually. The first day he walked into the class, I could't help but be drawn to him from the start. He's a lovely guy and those dimples just get my heart racing."

"Hey Haz, can you come with me for a bit? I'm sure Shawn doesn't mind keeping your boy some company," Louis tells the tall curly haired lad who nods.

"I'll be back. Remember what I said, yeah?" Harry says as he looks at Niall with a hint of worry in his eyes.

"I remember, you go and I'll be fine here," Niall reassures him, patting Harry's cheek affectionately.

Louis and Harry walk out of the kitchen, leaving Niall and Shawn in a bit of an awkward silence.

"We've known each other since we were sixteen and I don't think we ever made an effort to be friends," Shawn says, startling Niall out of his thoughts and he turns to look at his longtime crush who's smiling at him with what he interprets as regret in his eyes. Regret to not being friends sooner, is Niall's reasoning for that because Shawn's never given a hint about liking him back.

"Yeah. Guess we thought we wouldn't have much in common or something," Niall explains a little unsurely and with a slight blush. Niall's sure the reason why they weren't friends back in high school is because Shawn was pretty popular and Niall and Zayn weren't. It was just the two of them until they started uni.

"So tell me about yourself. Well I know you're Irish, your accent is still pretty strong despite being in New York for so long. What age did you move here?"

"I was fourteen and pretty terrified to be moving to a whole new country. We had to move because of my mother's job. She got transferred so we packed our bags and moved. It hit my younger sister the hardest. She was only five at the time and still pretty new at school so she didn't want to leave her friends to come and make new ones," Niall explains, not knowing why he's launching into his life story to someone he's just getting to know better. Sure they've exhanged a few words here and there throughout the years, but nothing personal.

"See? We do have something in common since I'm from Canada and we moved here because of my dad's job."

"Guess we do." Niall chuckles a little.

The two talk for about an hour before Harry returns without Louis and a small scowl on his face. Niall looks at him worriedly, but Harry simply shakes his head and glues himself to his side again. Niall doesn't even notice when Shawn walks out, but when he looks back, he's gone and it dampens Niall's mood a little because things were going great.

"What's wrong?" Niall asks Harry.

"Louis just wanted to know why I played him if I wasn't interested in him," Harry explains and Niall shakes his head because seriously? If anything Harry had been pretty obvious about his super huge crush on Louis.

"And what did you tell him?"

"That I wasn't going to sit around and wait forever for him. So now he's mad at me, but he's drunk so it's probably nothing serious." Harry shrugs as he makes himself another drink.

"The last thing I want is to come between you two, so if this is going to affect your relationship then I don't think we should be doing this. I mean, it's pretty obvious he's jealous," Niall tells Harry, chewing on his bottom lip with his eyes trained on Harry's back.

"No. Now I'm more determined than anything to keep going with this. If you and I end things here, then he'll see that I'll easily run into his arms because of his little tantrum and realize that things between you and me weren't serious."

"I don't know if I've already drank too much, but it makes a lot of sense to me for some reason," Niall says and yeah, he's definitely a bit tipsy. "You show him that he doesn't control you like that, mate. Make him suffer."

Harry laughs and turns around to face Niall as he says, "You probably have drunk a bit much. Anyways, how was your alone time with Shawn?"

"We talked a lot and we got to know each other. Pretty sure he regrets not being my friend since high school, but you know what? He was a bit of a bitch back then, so I don't regret it," Niall informs Harry as he takes a sip of his beer and Harry laughs.

They go out and socialize for a bit, Niall close to Harry at all times though in his alcohol induced mind, he wasn't even bothered by the fact that the house was packed by college kids and some probably not college kids.

They leave sometime after one in the morning since Niall has to work, so Harry walks him all the way to his dorm. They stand in front of the door as Niall struggles to open it.

"You have my number right?" Harry asks the blonde who nods. "Good. I'll keep in touch."

"Bye Harold," Niall says and he waves at him, watching him walk down the hall towards the stairs before he heads inside and closes the door quietly. The room is dark and Liam's snoring slightly in his bed. "What a fucking mess."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Edited: April 7, 2018**


	2. "count on me"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's no problem. That's what friends are for, yeah? To offer a shoulder to lean on when the other needs it and to entertain you with my childhood."

_"You can count on me like one two three and I'll be there."_ \- Bruno Mars

*

"Have you talked to Louis?" Niall asks Harry as they walk around campus before their next lecture which they both share, Niall with a cup of coffee in his hands and Harry with a smoothie.

It's Monday, three days after the party and while Harry said he'd keep in touch, Niall hadn't realized that keeping in touch meant waiting until Monday morning. It'd been alright though since Niall went home for the weekend since Niall's sister, Natalie, was sick and his mom had to work so he babysat her and their younger brother all weekend.

"I have and he hasn't mentioned what happened at the party so I'm guessing he doesn't remember," Harry replies, looking around to make sure that Louis wasn't outside. He was the one they needed to convince that their relationship was real.

"It's for the best, right?"

"Not sure what to feel if I'm honest. I've been crushing on him for over a year now and sometimes I just want to give up because it's not like he'll do more besides flirting back with me."

"Well like I said, why don't you ask him out?"

"I'm scared he'll reject me and shove me in the friendzone again," Harry confessed as he looked down at his smoothie.

"Again?" Niall questions curiously, eyebrows furrowed as he looks over at Harry.

"A month into knowing him I asked him out and he said that we should wait a bit to get to know each other better and I figured he meant like a month or two, but he never said anything or gave me a hint to ask him again so that's why I was waiting for him to ask me out. I waited for him to be ready this time," Harry explains with a small sigh escaping his lips before he takes a sip of his beverage.

"Okay, I understand where you're coming from, but how far do you want to take this fake relationship? I know you want to make him jealous and you want him to understand that you got tired of waiting around for him, but what? He's going to realize what an ass he's been for making you wait so long, then he confesses his feelings for you and you jump in his arms and make it seem like you didn't care about me or what? The last thing I want is for people to think that you were just using me, which basically you are."

"I am using you, aren't I? Fuck, I didn't exactly think this through. The only thing I had in mind was to make him jealous but I never even thought of how it could effect you."

"Look, I'll help you out anyways, but when Louis does decide to finally get off his ass, don't make it look like you cheated on me," Niall warns Harry, bumping his shoulder against Harry's, well more like he bumped his shoulder to Harry's arm because of their height difference.

"And if Shawn gets to you first, keep your words in mind, yeah?" Harry says as he looks over at Niall with a small smile.

"Deal." Niall laughs before taking a sip of his coffee.

*

"What's this about you and Harry dating?" Liam asks Niall during a rare moment that the two are in their dorm together during the day.

"You know?" Niall asks instead from where he's sitting on his bed reading a book they got assigned in his literature class.

"Um pretty sure the whole campus knows by now. Zayn told me during one of our classes and I'm sure that Perrie's told her friends who have told their friends and so on. You have never dated since we started uni and everyone else pretty much thought that Louis and Harry were an item, but suddenly he decided to ask you out? I don't understand."

"Are you implying that I'm not worth Harry's time or something?" Niall asks him a little too angry and he doesn't even know why he's reacting like that. Three days ago he'd still thought Harry was an annoying kid with a weird sense of fashion.

"No! That's not it, it's just weird because of the whole Harry and Louis thing still being a thing on Thursday and by Friday Harry's already asked you out? It's a little strange," Liam explains himself and Niall thinks about it and yeah it is very strange considering the non-relationship Louis and Harry liked to flaunt around campus. "Um look, I'm sure Harry likes you a lot which is why he asked you out, so don't get all upset about what I said about him and Louis."

"I'm not upset, I'm just-" _'not sure what the hell I'm doing nor why I feel strange all of a sudden._ ' "People don't think I came between them or something, right? The last thing I want is for everyone to think that I did."

"Not entirely. I mean, I did hear a few girls complain about you suddenly being Harry's boyfriend when before you two barely even greeted each other in the halls. But they were also blaming Louis for not getting his shit together. Don't sweat it, Nialler. This is college, everyone will forget by dinner time."

Niall was getting ready to head out to dinner with Harry later that day when said lad knocked on the door and Liam opened it.

"Hi mate," they greeted each other and Harry stepped into the room, smiling at Niall who waved at him before he went back to tying his shoes.

"Hey, so you don't mind if Louis and Shawn join us for dinner, right? Figured we could all hang out," Harry says as he helps Niall up from the bed.

"I don't mind," Niall replies though there's a soft blush on his cheeks at the simple mention of Shawn's name. Harry's smile only grows and Niall shoots him a glare.

"You want to come along Payno? Zayn said he'd try to catch up with us once he was done with his art class."

"No thanks. Dani said she wanted to talk and we're taking a walk," Liam explains and Niall gives him a look that Liam completely ignores.

"Alright then, I'll bring him back in one piece," Harry informs Liam who nods in approval.

"And early!" Liam calls after them before Niall can close the door.

"So what's our status?" Niall asks Harry as they walk towards the stairs, bumping into a first year student who looked a little frazzled with three textbooks clutched to his chest and dark circles under his eyes.

"What do you mean?" Harry asks in confusion as he glances at the blonde shortly.

"Mate, if you want this fake relationship to work, we need to be on the same page here. I know on Friday I went as your date to that party, but that doesn't mean that we're an official item or something. I could have just done you a favor by going as your date so you didn't show up like the loner you are."

"Hey!" Harry shouted with a pout as they walked down the stairs. "You're right though. It would blow our cover if we gave different answers as to what we're supposed to be. Okay so I haven't asked you to be my boyfriend yet. We're still just going on dates to get to know each other better and there's no real hurry in trying to make things more formal."

"Sounds believable."

"So Shawn mentioned you two had a pretty good conversation on Friday. Anything interesting?" Harry teases the blonde, holding the door open for him and Niall thanks him as he steps outside.

"He just said that we've been attending the same school for so long, but we really didn't know anything about each other and we just got talking about anything we could think off," Niall explains with a shrug, though there's a blush on his face that's only growing the more they talk about Shawn and Harry teases him for it.

They reach Harry's car and get in, the drive to the restaurant a little silent, but a good kind despite not knowing each other that well. Niall now concluded that Harry wasn't such a bad person to be around or annoying how he'd always believed. He enjoys his company and he hopes that once this is all over, they can stay friends.

They reach a diner tucked in a quiet part of the city and about twenty minutes away from campus that Niall had never seen before. Niall and Harry get out of the car and head inside where Louis waves at them from a booth.

"Come on, my love," Harry says as he takes Niall's hand and leads him to the booth where Louis and Shawn are sitting across from each other with four menus on the table. "Hi guys, sorry if we were a little late."

"We just got here, so don't worry," Louis replies with a smile, sharing a look with Shawn and Niall gets the feeling that the two are up to something since they're forcing Niall and Harry to sit across from each other.

Harry gives Niall's hand a soft squeeze before he's sitting next to Louis and Niall takes a seat next to Shawn on the bench. A waiter walks over to them, her dark red hair pulled up into a high ponytail and a bored expression on her face. She looked to be no older than them.

"Alright, are we finally all here?" She asks, giving them an impatient look and Louis snickered.

"Yes love, we're all here," Harry answers her politely, smiling up at the girl who doesn't even react to his smile. Not everyone can be charmed by Harry Styles' dimples.

"Can I start you off with something to drink?"

"I want a coke please," Shawn tells her and she writes it down.

"Lemondade," Niall speaks next.

"Same for me," Harry says and Louis goes with iced tea.

The waiter left and the four boys looked at their menus for something to eat.

"So lads, how's your relationship going?" Louis asks, looking up from his menu to look at Niall and Harry and the blonde shifts a little uncomfortably in his seat because he can feel Louis glaring at him.

"We're in no rush," Harry replies with a small shrug as he looks up to give Niall a smile. "We want to get to know each other better."

"I was a little hesitant at first because we barely even knew each other, but because I really like Harry I figured it wouldn't hurt to date and get to know each other at the same time," Niall takes over with a small smirk on his face since Louis rejected Harry because they didn't know each other. He felt a little satisfied when Louis' smirk was wiped off his face for a few seconds. Harry bit his bottom lip to keep from laughing and Shawn looked at the three a little lost.

Their waiter returns with their drinks before anyone can say anything else and then she takes their orders and leaves again. Dinner is a bit of a tense and awkward event. Louis was definitely being rude to Niall, Shawn it seemed was ignoring him and Harry kept making his stupid heart eyes at Louis. As usual.

Eventually Niall is back in his dorm with Liam who's watching Netflix on his laptop. He looks up when Niall walks in and smiles at him.

"How was dinner?" Liam asks curiously, pausing his show to focus on Niall who was taking off his shoes and jacket.

"Awkward as hell. Only Harry would have the bright idea of dragging me to dinner with his almost could have been boyfriend who kept glaring at me. If looks could kill, I'd be buried by now," Niall tells Liam with a huff as he goes over to Liam's bed and sits next to him.

"Oh come on, don't exaggerate."

"Really? I'm pretty sure the only time he talked to me was to ask if I was actually interested in Harry that way. Pretty sure he thinks we're faking or some shit."

"Are you? Because I still can't wrap my mind around you two suddenly dating. Heck, the other day you were complaining to me about how annoying Harry was and now you're dating him?"

"Had a change of heart?"

"Niall," Liam warns and Niall sighs in defeat.

"You can't say anything, yeah? Promise me," Niall tells him as he sits up to face his best mate and roommate with a serious expression on his face.

"I promise, but what the hell is going on?" Liam asks worriedly, show long forgotten as he gives Niall his full attention.

"Okay so Harry came up to me Friday and..." Niall then launches off into an explanation of what's actually going on and it feels so good to tell someone about the mess he got himself into. "And that's why we're dating."

"That's idiotic and I can't come up with one good scenario where someone doesn't get hurt," Liam says with a worried look on his face and Niall sighs. "Why are you doing this anyways? Like, I know you said it's because of Shawn, but is it worth it? To pretend that you're dating someone just to make someone else jealous?"

"It's not worth it and I know it's wrong and if anyone's going to get hurt it's probably me and I don't want to get hurt again, Liam. I just don't know why I even agreed. Maybe it was the idea of getting closer to Shawn, but I got myself into a very messy situation here and I can't back out of it. I don't want to let Harry down," Niall confesses a little sadly as he looks away from the brown eyed boy in front of him.

"This isn't going to end well, Nialler. Just be careful, yeah?" Liam says as he pulls Niall into his arms.

"Yeah."

Later that night, Niall is sitting outside on a bench. There's a few students walking around, a couple making out under a tree and someone goes by in their bicycle. There's not a cloud in the sky and Niall wishes he could see the moon a little better because when he was younger, anytime he felt sad or lost, he'd just look at the moon and feel comforted by its silver glow.

"Aren't you cold?" Someone asks and Niall looks up to find Harry standing there in his jacket and scarf wrapped around his neck.

"Not really. What are you doing out?" Niall asks as he moves on the bench to make room for Harry who sits down next to him, their thighs brushing and his side going warm from Harry's body which makes him realize that he is actually a little cold.

"I was at the library trying to finish some research for my biology class. And you? Why so lonely?"

"Sometimes I just like to look up at the moon when I'm sad or in need of something familiar. It reminds me of when I was younger and growing up in Ireland. I didn't grow up in a city like you. The town was small and at night you could see billions of stars and the moon was always bright and beautiful no matter its shape. I miss that," Niall explains as he looks over at Harry who was staring up at the sky.

"And are you sad? You look down," Harry asks worriedly as he looks over at Niall who's leaning back on the bench now.

"I'll be fine, I have my moments," Niall says softly as he looks back up at the sky, but now there's a cloud moving and starting to block the small bit of moon he'd been able to see. "Talk to me."

"Hmm?"

"About anything. Just keep talking to me."

"I was in a band when I was younger. We sucked," Harry says and Niall laughs. "I was the lead singer, but we broke up after our first gig. I'm glad we did, we were pretty awful."

The two stay talking outside under the moonlight and ignoring the last few people lingering outside. Niall shivers a little as the wind picks up and Harry removes his jacket to place it around Niall's shoulders, the two unaware that they were being watched by Louis.

"Do you feel better?" Harry asked as he walked Niall up to his dorm, the blonde now wearing Harry's jacket which was a little big on him.

"Yeah, thank you. I'm sorry for bothering you," Niall says as he leans against the wall next to his door.

"It's no problem. That's what friends are for, yeah? To offer a shoulder to lean on when the other needs it and to entertain you with my childhood."

Niall laughs and shakes his head and he goes to remove the jacket, but Harry shakes his head.

"You keep it. It looks better on you," says Harry as he looks at Niall who blushes slightly but leaves the jacket on. "I'll see you tomorrow Ni. Have a goodnight."

"Night Harry," Niall replies softly and Harry seems to think about something for a second before he's leaning down to press a soft kiss to Niall's cheek and then he's off.

"Wow," comes Liam's voice that makes Niall jump and gasp loudly as he turns to face his roommate who's walking down the hall from the opposite end of Harry. "Sorry. Just, you two looked pretty intimate there and if I didn't now the truth than I would have believed the whole you two dating thing."

"He was just keeping me company while I was outside. He's a friend to me and nothing more," Niall tells Liam as he opens the door to their dorm and steps inside with Liam following after him.

"That smile on your face said otherwise. I don't know about you, but I don't go around kissing my friends on the cheek."

"I've kissed Zayn on the cheek and that doesn't mean we're dating," Niall argues as he heads to the bathroom.

"Okay point taken. Besides, Harry's always been a very touchy feely guy."

Niall could only look at himself in the mirror and shakes his head.

He did not like Harry Styles.

No he did not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm ten episodes away from finishing Pretty Little Liars and I've got so many mixed emotions at this moment because that show has been so fucking good that I don't want to finish it
> 
> Anyways, hope you all had a lovely weekend and I hope you guys enjoy this story and I hope I don't mess things up halfway through :)
> 
> **April 7, 2018**


	3. "astronaut"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hey so Harry said you were coming, why aren't you here? Everyone's here already," Zayn tells Niall who only feels worse.

_"Can anybody hear me? Or am I talking to myself."_ \- Simple Plan

It's been a whole week since Harry asked Niall to be his fake date and to Niall it's been a long and exhausting week. Who knew having to pretend was so hard. It took a lot for Niall to not just right out say that him and Harry weren't even dating and that up until a week ago they weren't even friends. The only good thing is that he's got Shawn's number now and they text often.

"Niall, hi!" Harry says as he rushes up to the blonde who'd just been walking out of the main school building and Niall sighs, trying hard to not roll his eyes.

"Hey. What's up? Require my boyfriend services again?" Niall asks in a joking manner, really hoping Harry would say no because he just wants to stay in his dorm for once and not do anything. He's so tired.

"I do, actually. I was kind of wondering if it's time we started to step up our game?" Harry wonders as he grabs Niall's hand out of nowhere and they begin to just walk. It's become such a normal thing to just hold hands that Niall doesn't even react and instead just locks his fingers with Harry's.

"You're right, we should because I feel like it's getting harder to convince Louis the more we say that we're still getting to know each other."

"Yeah. So tonight the lads and I were planning on having a boys night, you know just the usual drinking and eating and stuff like that and obviously I want you to come so we can further prove that yes we are together and oh so happy!" Harry tells Niall who laughs as Harry swings their hands back and forth, unaware that they were being watched by an angry Louis Tomlinson.

"And where are you boys having your boys night? And who are the boys?"

"We usually meet up down at that park a couple of blocks from here, but since it's getting cold, we were thinking about meeting up at Zayn's new place," Harry explains as they stop to sit down on a picnic table.

"Zayn got a new place?" Niall wonders as he sits across from Harry and he frowns because Zayn didn't mention anything when they talked that morning before their first lecture.

"Yeah! He was meant to move in with Perrie, but they got into a fight and I think they're taking a break or something. Louis, Shawn and Liam are also going. So you in?"

Okay, ouch. Niall really didn't know anything anymore about his best friend, the guy he considered a brother for so long.

"Yeah, sure. So what's our situation now? You know, so we're on the same page," Niall wonders as he looks at Harry who seemed to think about it for a second.

"Okay so we went on a date yesterday to the movies after we both got out of work and that's when I asked you to be my boyfriend and we kissed right outside your dorm."

Niall nods and wonders how it's going to all change now that Harry and him kiss for the first time. Things would definitely change, Niall just hoped that it didn't ruin their growing friendship or make things awkward between them.

"So what time are we heading to Zayn's then?" Niall asks as he begins to gather his things again so he can leave.

"Zayn said to be there at around seven so I'll pick you up at your dorm at around ten to and then we'll leave."

"Alright. I gotta go now, want to get ahead on my homework before tonight," Niall says as he goes to stand up, but Harry grabs his hand to keep him sitting. "What is it?"

"Um okay, I know this is a lot to ask and I know you're already doing me a huge favor by pretending to be my boyfriend, but I was wondering if we could uh maybe possibly kiss first? Like I feel like it'd be best if we practiced a bit before going with the lads and having it look awkward," Harry explains himself a little nervously and Niall wants to say no but in a strange world it makes a bit of sense.

"Uh y-yeah, I mean, you're right. Strangely," Niall replies just as nervous as Harry and he can feel his cheeks burn with an unwanted blush.

"Oh please, I'm always right," Harry jokes to lighten the mood and it works because Niall starts laughing and he shakes his head. "So how should we do this?"

"Um not sure. I've never had to practice kissing anyone before."

"Come sit over here," Harry says as he pats the space next to him and he moves to stradle the seat.

Niall goes over and copies Harry, their knees brushing and Niall placing his hands on the seat nervously as he bites at his bottom lip. Harry seems to get lost in Niall's eyes, swimming in the rich blue color before he reaches a hand up to cup Niall's pale cheek. The two lean in and their lips brush lightly against each other, Niall's eyes fluttering closed as he closes the remaining gap between them and presses his lips more firmly against Harry's.

Harry's lips are soft and his breath is minty, but he kisses softly and carefully. Their lips move slowly but surely and it seems like they both forget why they're kissing and who they're kissing as they get lost in the feeling. Niall's hands are still placed flat against the seat of the bench and Harry's is on his cheek before it moves to bury his fingers in the blonde hair.

Niall comes to his senses first and pulls away, eyes wide and he looks at Harry who removes his hand from Niall.

"I uh- I guess we got that part down perfectly," Harry jokes lightly, but it's a little forced and Niall hates that that kiss with Harry is already effecting their relationship.

"I'll see you later then," Niall says quickly as he stands up and then goes over to grab his things and he leaves, mind lost on the kiss.

*

Harry's late. It's already seven and he hasn't even called or sent a text to tell Niall that he's running late or whatever. Niall even starts to wonder if Harry already left for Zayn's and forgot him, which hurts Niall more than he'd like to admit. He paces around his dorm for a few minutes wondering if he should call Harry but he shoots that idea down quickly because if he got forgotten, than he's not going to remind Harry of it. Instead he removes his shoes and jacket and goes to sit at his desk to keep working on homework. It's five past seven now and he's pretty much given up by now.

Niall's phone goes off and there's a small flicker of hope that it could be Harry, but instead it's Zayn and Niall sighs a little sadly.

"Hey, what's up?" Niall answers as he sets his pencil down and acts like he doesn't know why Zayn is calling him.

"Hey so Harry said you were coming, why aren't you here? Everyone's here already," Zayn tells Niall who only feels worse because that has to mean that Harry is already there, right? Zayn said everyone.

"Um I changed my mind. I'm getting my homework done right now so I can go home tomorrow," Niall lies. He wasn't actually planning on having another three hour drive to his home just to be there for one night.

"Niall, I'll send Shawn for you, but please come. You have to come see my new place and maybe you and Payno can be my new roommates for next year."

"I just- I'm tired, Zee. Maybe next time, yeah?"

Suddenly there's a knock on his door and Niall sighs because if it's Harry, he sure as hell better have one good reason as to why he's late and why he didn't at least text him. However, when Niall opens the door he's shocked to find Shawn standing there with a small nervous smile on his face.

"I hate you," Niall tells Zayn before hanging up and looking at Shawn curiously before letting him in. "What are you doing here?"

"Well when I saw Harry walk in with Louis, I thought maybe you didn't want to go with Harry because Louis tagged along or something so I thought I'd come by and offer you a ride," Shawn explains and Niall's touched that Shawn bothered with driving back to campus for him, but it's short lived because he's mad that Harry showed up to Zayn's with Louis after they'd made plans earlier that day.

"When did Harry get there?" Niall asks Shawn who thinks about it for a second.

"At around seven. Did you guys have a fight or something?"

"Not that I'm aware of. I mean, we saw each other like three hours ago and he agreed to pick me up ten minutes before seven. He could have at least sent me a text or something," Niall explains angrily as he sits on his bed. He got stood up and he's not even sure if he's angry because of that or because Harry showed up with Louis and it confuses and frustrates Niall so much.

"Oh, well do you still want to go?" Shawn asks him as he looks at the blonde who's chewing on his bottom lip.

"You know what? Yeah I do because whether he forgot about me or not, he's getting in a loud of trouble," Niall grumbles as he puts on his shoes again and then grabs his phone and jacket. "Lets go."

Shawn smiles and leads the blonde downstairs, going into a conversation about their high school days. They get in Shawn's car and eventually they arrive in front of a building that's still part of the campus, it's just a bunch of apartments for college students who don't want to stay in a shitty dorm.

Zayn's apartment is in the third floor and Shawn doesn't even knock, he just opens the front door and they step inside where it's loud and there's music playing at a reasonable volume though Niall doubts the other college students would complain.

"My Nialler is here!" Zayn cries happily as he goes over to hug the blonde tightly, already smelling of beer and cigarettes.

"Hi," Niall mumbles into his shoulder, arms around the dark haired lad.

"I'm sorry about, you know," Zayn mumbles quietly as he looks at Niall, Shawn having gone into the living room where the other three are. "Are you two fighting?"

"Nah just a small misunderstanding," Niall says with a shrug and Zayn eyes him worriedly for a second before he leads him into the living room where Harry's eyes widen slightly when he spots Niall who scoffs. So Harry did forget about him.

Louis only smirks as he brings his beer bottle up to his lips and Niall takes a seat next to Shawn who hands him a drink before Liam continues whatever story he'd been on when Niall and Shawn arrived.

After an hour, Niall stands up to go to the kitchen to check his phone when Harry walks after him.

"I'm so sorry," Harry apologizes.

"Do I really mean that little to all of you? Because seriously this is ridiculous. Liam's my roommate and he never asks me to hang out, Zayn's my best friend for years but suddenly he forgets that and makes parties and shit without inviting me and you made plans with me three fucking hours ago and you forgot because Louis snapped his fingers at you," Niall ranted, glad that the music was loud enough where the others wouldn't hear them despite the proximity of the kitchen and living room. "And apparently you guys hang out together often and I'm never invited. It's like we all live in different countries."

"Ni, I'm so fucking sorry, I am. Gosh, you don't know how horrible I feel."

"Yeah? And how do you think I felt when that clock hit seven and I realized that you were already ten minutes late and probably not showing up? For a brief second I even thought that that damn kiss had made things awkward between us, but now I realize that you forgot me because Louis was around."

"Look, I apologized and I told you how bad I feel, I don't know what else you want from me, Niall. Stop acting like you're an angry boyfriend because you're not and we barely even are friends." Harry winces at that last statement because he just screwed up again.

"You're right. I'm not your boyfriend and I'm not your friend, so you know what? I don't have to help you out with anything. Good luck getting that loud mouthed brat to ask you out," Niall spits out angrily before he's storming into the living room to sit down next to Shawn again.

"You okay?" Zayn asks worriedly as he pulls Niall into his side to cuddle him.

"No," Niall answers honestly as he takes the cup in Zayn's left hand and drinks it, wincing as the strong taste of alcohol burned his throat.

Harry walks back into the room looking like a kicked puppy and both Liam and Zayn glare at him, Louis rubbing Harry's back in comfort. Despite everything though, Niall stays and he drinks because he wants to forget. He drinks because his chest aches and he wishes he had better friends.

"You know what I hate?" Niall slurs out suddenly. He's sitting on the floor with a cup mixed with vodka and something he wasn't quite sure of anymore. Zayn had just handed it to him and he was just as drunk as the blonde because Perrie and him broke up. "Getting left out. This is why I never liked having a big group of friends, granted there's one person in this room who I can't stand, but still."

"Feeling's mutual," Louis mumbles drunkenly as he raises his glass at Niall.

"I hate breakups," Zayn says as he raises his cup and Niall and Louis follow suit, the blonde glaring at Louis who does the same.

"Cheers," Niall and Louis mumble and take a drink.

Harry and Shawn both began to wonder why Niall and Louis hated each other so much.

They keep drinking and laughing, but Niall heads to the kitchen to find something to eat and in the process he drinks some water.

"Ni, I'm sorry about what I said earlier," Harry says as he walks towards the blonde who grabs a bag of chips.

"I am sorry too, I think," Niall said with a frown but then he started to giggle and let go of the counter, nearly falling but Harry was quick to wrap an arm around his waist. "Hmm, you're strong."

"Look, we'll talk in the morning, yeah? I don't think you'll remember anything tomorrow. Not even that you and Louis held up a conversation for over five minutes."

"I don't recall." Niall frowns again, thinking hard but honestly it was all already a blur. He could have kissed Shawn and not even remember.

"Come on, I should get you to your dorm. It's late and you shouldn't drink anymore unless you want to end up in the hospital with alcohol poisoning and then we'd have to explain how a bunch of nineteen year olds managed to get alcohol," Harry tells Niall as he keeps holding him up right and leads him to the living room to say goodbye to everyone. "Guys, we're heading out."

"Yeah, Niall's pretty hammered," Liam comments as he eyes the blonde worriedly, watching the way Niall clings to Harry with his pale arms around the taller lad's waist. "Take care of him."

"Will do," Harry reassured him, smiling down at Niall with a bit of a fond smile. "Come on babe, lets get you home."

"Ireland? You're taking me to Ireland?" Niall asks Harry with wide eyes and Harry shakes his head, ignoring his question as he leads the blonde out of Zayn's place.

It's hard to get Niall up the stairs once they make it to the dorms, but Harry manages and sets Niall down on the bed. Harry looks at Niall one final time before leaving.

*

Harry was taking pictures around campus the next morning when he spots Niall walking out of his dorm building dressed in a large hoodie, joggers and sunglasses covered his eyes. Harry smirked and ran over to him.

"Morning, Irish," Harry greets him and Niall groans because Harry was being purposefully loud just to see Niall wince.

"Don't be so loud," Niall tells him, reaching a hand out to slap him softly. "Why are you up so early?"

"Niall, it's almost one in the afternoon," Harry replies with a laugh as he catches Niall's hand to prevent his hand from making contact with his face. Instead he brings Niall's hand up to his lips and presses a kiss to the back of it.

"Stop giving me your cooties." Niall blushes lightly.

"What are you, five?" Harry questions and Niall laughs quietly. "Come on, I'll buy you a coffee and we'll talk."

Niall nods and lets Harry hold his hand as they walk towards the nearest coffee shop. They enter the shop and they go up to order. Harry grabs another smoothie and Niall goes for an iced vanilla latte.

"Thank you for taking me to my dorm last night," Niall tells Harry as they sit at a table with their drinks, Niall playing with the straw and stirring the ice after removing his glasses. "I didn't plan on drinking so much."

"It's fine, I'd do anything for a friend," Harry reassured him with a soft smile and Niall looked down at the table. "Niall, I do consider you my friend, I'm just really sorry for what I said last night."

"As much as I hate to admit it, it hurt. It hurts what you said and it hurts that even though Liam and Zayn are my friends, they never bother inviting me to things. I hate feeling so left out."

"I'm sorry you have shitty friends, but I hope you can consider me a better friend than them," Harry half jokes and Niall laughs as he looks up at Harry. "Are we good then?"

"Yeah, we're good," Niall tells him as he takes a sip of his coffee.

"So anything new with Shawn?"

"Not really. I mean we text back and forth a lot, but he hasn't really shown any signs of liking me back or anything. Honestly though? I don't know if I'm ready for a new relationship. I mean, the only guy I ever dated back in my senior year of high school just played me. I fell in love with him and he ended up breaking me after I gave him my virginity."

"Fuck Ni, I'm so sorry," Harry says softly as he reaches over to grab Niall's hand. "Whoever he is, I hope he's out there having the worst time of his life."

Niall gives him a weak smile.

"Take any good pictures this morning?" Niall asks, wanting to change topics so Harry doesn't ask more about his ex.

"Just a few, but wasn't feeling inspired so they're probably not good," Harry says as he grabs his camera and looks through the pictures he took. "Are you still taking pictures?"

"Yeah, sometimes. I found this really cool place where I go since it's mostly always empty and I spend hours on my free times just taking pictures."

"Maybe we should go somewhere, you and I. Find somewhere nice to take pictures," Harry suggests as he looks up at Niall who was staring out the window watching people walk by. Harry takes the opportunity that Niall isn't looking to take a picture of him.

"We should," Niall replies a few seconds later as he turns to look at Harry with a smile.

Niall didn't want to admit that Harry Styles was starting to fill up every spot in his mind. He was scared though. He was scared of when things ended and Harry started to dedicate his time to Louis. He didn't want to lose Harry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really torn between buying tickets to see Shawn in Milwaukee for Summerfest, seeing Niall in Chicago or going to Warped Tour because like it's the final year and there's actually good bands playing.
> 
> I'm already working on chapter 8 and I just wanna say that Niall and Harry are so fucking dumb
> 
> **Edited April 7, 2018**


	4. "heroes"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Horan, what did I just say?" Their professor asks again, this time a bit angrily and Niall glares at Louis who only blows him a kiss.

_"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer."_ \- All Time Low

*

"So you and Harry talked things out then?" Zayn asks as he prepares them something for dinner at his new place.

"Yeah. We went out for coffee this morning and talked about that misunderstanding we had," Niall explains without giving away too much details.

"Are you happy with him? I mean, I don't want another incident like that one. I don't want you getting hurt like that again."

"I'm happy, yeah. Anyways, enough about me. How are you after the break up?" Niall asks him as he helps Zayn chop some vegetables.

"Indifferent. I mean, it hurts yeah, but after we broke up I realized that I didn't have the same feelings for her as I did a year ago," Zayn tells him and Niall nods.

"So you're planning on staying single then?"

"For now yes. I'd rather give all my love to you," Zayn says with a large grin as he goes over to kiss Niall's cheek. Niall simply rolls his eyes and shoves Zayn away from him playfully. "I missed hanging out with you. Just you."

"Same here," Niall mumbles as he focuses on the food.

*

It's Monday again and Niall's tired as he sits in his 8 o'clock lecture trying not to fall asleep. His professor is going on and on about something that Niall hasn't paid attention to in the last ten minutes. Sitting behind him is Louis who has his feet resting against the back of Niall's chair and occassionaly kicking him.

"Can you stop kicking me?" Niall asks Louis angrily as he turns to glare at the brunette who only smirks and kicks Niall's seat again. "Fucking stop."

"Is there a problem boys?" Their professor asks them and Niall blushes as the whole class turns to look at them. "Horan, turn around and face the board. I'm sure you must think that Tomlinson is good looking or whatever, but you can flirt with him after class."

A few kids snicker, Louis including and it only embarrasses Niall further as he turns around slowly, keeping his gaze down and Louis kicks his seat again. Niall turns to hit at Louis' feet.

"Horan, what did I just say?" Their professor asks again, this time a bit angrily and Niall glares at Louis who only blows him a kiss. "Face the board and leave your boyfriend alone."

"What a little slut. He dates Harry Styles and he flirts with someone else?" The guy sitting next to Niall says and the blonde turns to glare at him as well. "Some just can't get enough."

"Mind your own fucking business," Niall says a little too loudly and the professor turns to glare at Niall this time.

"Third strike and you're out, Horan." He points at the door and Niall quickly collects his things and rushes out. If this were a cartoon, Niall's face would be red with anger and steam would be coming out of his ears.

Niall stormed out of the school building and bumped into Harry a little roughly, making the two stumble back and groan in pain.

"Niall," Harry complained as he rubbed at his chest.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't paying attention," Niall mumbles, still angry and refusing to meet Harry's eyes and ignoring the pain in his left shoulder from when he bumped into Harry's chest.

"What's wrong? Thought you had class," Harry wonders as he wraps an arm around Niall's shoulders and begins to walk down the sidewalk towards the picnic table they shared their first kiss on.

"Got kicked out because of Louis."

"What?"

"He kept kicking my chair and I told him to stop, but the professor thought we were flirting and some asshole called me a slut so I yelled at him and I got kicked out. This fucking feels like high school all over again," Niall explains as he sits down on the bench and Harry takes a seat next to him instead of across like last time.

"Who called you a slut?" Harry asked angrily, completely ignoring the part where Louis kept bothering him because in Harry's eyes, Louis could do no wrong.

"It doesn't matter. I've been called worse." Niall shrugs nonchalantly, though it actually did hurt because he's only ever had one boyfriend who called him a slut and other terrible things. "Anyways, what are you doing out here?"

"I went out for a jog and now I was just walking around until you bumped into me. Who knew someone so tiny could crash into me so hard," Harry teased the blonde who blushed but laughed.

"I'm not tiny, I'm just more average size than your giant ass."

"Least I eat healthy."

"Hey, I can too eat healthy. I just choose not to."

Harry rolls his eyes at that and ruffles Niall's blonde hair. They sit at the table for a few minutes until the doors where Niall came out from opened and Louis walked out with the guy that called Niall a slut. Niall glared at the two as they laughed and then Louis caught his gaze and smirked before saying goodbye to the guy and walking over to the pair.

"Hello boys," Louis greets them and Harry sits up straight, smile growing ten times larger as he looked at Louis and Niall rolled his eyes. "Neil, didn't know you had such a short temper."

"You should know," Niall mumbles to himself, glad that Harry was too busy making heart eyes at Louis who sat across from him. "Well I don't find it amusing that I got kicked out of class because you kept kicking my seat with your smelly feet."

"So you weren't flirting with me? I'm wounded."

"You want to be left wounded? I've got two hands right here itching to punch a fucking asshole," Niall spits out before he grabs his things and leaves the table angrily.

"Harry, your boyfriend is so violent," Niall hears Louis say and Harry only laughs.

"He's just having a bad day," Harry replies and it angers Niall further as he heads to his dorm to wait the fifteen minutes to his next lecture inside and out of the chilly autumn morning.

Niall walks into his dorm where Liam is working on putting his jeans on and is completely shirtless. He looks up startled when Niall walks in.

"Why are you in such a bad mood?" Liam asks him.

"Louis. I got kicked out of class, no biggie," Niall explains as he throws his backpack onto his bed.

"Why are you and Louis always fighting anyways?" Liam questions him as he puts on his shirt and looks for a jacket.

"We just don't get along. He's annoying and always picking on me. Pretty sure that's reason enough to not like him."

"Alright then. Well I'm off to class. Wanna have dinner later?"

"Is Liam Payne asking me out on a date?" Niall jokes and he laughs when Liam blushes.

"So dinner?"

"Yeah." Niall smiles and Liam goes over to kiss his head before he leaves.

Niall's getting ready to head out to his next class when there's a knock on his door and he goes over to open it, smiling shyly when he finds Shawn standing there with his own backpack.

"Hey," Niall greets a little breathlessly and he blushes.

"Hi. So I saw Harry and Louis together and I wanted to see if you wanted to walk together to our class?" Shawn wonders, rubbing at the back of his neck as he looks down at Niall. "And I kind of heard what happened with Louis."

"Yeah I'd love to walk with you and I'd rather not talk about Louis. He puts me in a bad mood all the time," Niall says as he grabs his backpack and the two walk out.

The rest of his Monday is uneventful. Niall goes to dinner with Liam and the two have a great time. Afterwards they head back to their dorm and Niall finishes an essay before calling it a night.

The next day Niall doesn't have any classes until noon so he has a morning work shift at the diner that goes by quickly because weekday mornings are never busy. His shift ends at eleven and he heads back to his dorm where he waits the rest of the hour going over his essay and proofreading it. Once he's satisfied he emails it to his professor and grabs his backpack so he can go.

"Hi blondie. Haven't seen you all day," Louis says as he looks at Niall who walks past him, completely ignoring him. "You know it's rude to ignore people, right?"

"And you know that I don't care when it comes to you, right?" Niall says as he turns to face Louis who's smirking at the blonde in that irritating way that makes him want to punch the brunette boy who puts out his cigarette and walks up to the blonde.

"Why do you hate me so much?"

"You know why, don't play stupid."

"Let it go blondie. Holding a grudge won't do you any good."

Niall stopped walking and turned to face Louis with an angry expression. Louis stood in front of Niall just waiting for the blonde to blow up in the way that he hadn't done in a year.

"Let it go? You're fucking telling me to let it go," Niall says incredulously and he scoffs and rolls his eyes. "That's a lovely joke, but learn a new one because it's getting old."

Niall goes to walk off, but Louis' hand grabs Niall's arm tightly and prevents him from doing so. Niall winces slightly because Louis' hold is getting painful, but he still manages to glare at the boy in front of him.

"Shouldn't I be the one that's mad? I mean, you took the guy that I liked away from me," Louis says, keeping his tight hold on Niall's arm. "Or is this your way of getting revenge on me?"

"Let me tell you something, Tomlinson. I didn't take Harry away from you. Harry simply got tired of waiting around for you to make up your damn mind about wanting to go out with him. He wasn't going to wait around for you forever and I'm glad he didn't because I would hate for you to hurt him the way you hurt me."

"Harry was mine, Niall and you got in the fucking way. You're still the same little slut, aren't you?"

Niall pulled his arm free from Louis' grasp and slapped the lad who stumbled back a little, in both shock and pain. He looked at Niall with wide eyes but Niall didn't feel an ounce of regret for what he did. He had enough in high school of people calling him that s word, Niall didn't need to hear it again.

"You fucking bitch. Can't handle the truth, huh?" Louis asked through gritted teeth and he glared at Niall, crowding up into the blonde's space.

"Hey! What's going on here?" Shawn asked as he quickly ran over to them, pushing Louis back and standing in front of Niall protectively.

"Did you not see what he did? The bitch hit me," Louis told Shawn who rolled his eyes.

"You probably deserved it. You can be a bit too much sometimes," Shawn replied, folding his arms across his chest. "Do me a favor and get the hell away from Niall. If I ever see or hear that you're bothering him again, I'll punch you."

Louis gave Niall one last glare before walking away and Niall let out the breath he didn't know he was holding. Shawn turned around to face the blonde and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"You okay?" Shawn asked him worriedly and Niall looked up with slightly teary eyes.

"Y-Yeah! We just had a small misunderstanding, that's all," Niall lied as he gripped at the strap of his backpack tightly, his knuckles turning white and trying to keep himself from remembering his senior year of high school. "I uh gotta get to class. Um see you later?"

"Yeah."

"Thanks."

Niall quickly walks away, shaking his head to clear his thoughts away. He races inside the building and makes it to class just before the teacher closes the door. He takes a seat in the back and tries to concentrate on the lecture, but he can't because suddenly he's relieving his past again.

*

 **To Niall**  
 **From Harold:** we need to talk

Niall frowned at the text but replied with an okay before leaving the school building in search of Harry who was usually always outside.

The blonde found Harry sitting at their picnic table with an unreadable expression on his face and Niall had the feeling that their talk would have to do because of what happened between him and Louis. Niall took in a deep breath and tried to ignore the wind slapping at his cheeks as he approached Harry who looked up as he heard Niall's footsteps.

"I'm guessing Louis told you," Niall mumbles, not even bothering to take a seat because Harry stood up glaring at Niall who took a step back to put more distance between them even though there was the table.

"You hit him, Niall," Harry spat out angrily, hands gripping at the edge of the table.

"Did he even tell you what happened? Or are you so fucking gone for Louis that you'd rather defend him when he was in the wrong?!" Niall asks angrily as he stared at Harry who rolled his eyes. "I see how it is. You like Louis so much that he can never do wrong in your eyes. To you everyone else is wrong but Louis is a little innocent boy who got hit for no reason?"

"Don't patronize me, Horan."

"I'm not, Styles. Look, he got what he deserved and trust me, he deserves so much worse but I'm not going to sit here and chat with you about why I absolutely can't stand that fucking asshole. Do me a favor and just go ask him out already so you can leave me alone and we never have to talk again because I am sick tired of being placed second when it comes to Louis," Niall tells Harry as he begins to walk away, ignoring the way some of the lingering students outside stared at them. "Have a nice life, dick!"

Niall stormed into his dorm angrily and slammed his door shut, scaring Liam who'd been in the bathroom fixing his hair. He walks out and looks at Niall who's pacing the room, jacket thrown messily on his bed and backpack thrown by the door.

"What's wrong with you?" Liam asks as he sits on the desk chair and looks at Niall who sits on his bed with his head in his hands, sniffling a little. "Ni? Love, what's wrong?"

"Got in a fight with Harry," Niall mumbles as he looks up at Liam with red rimmed eyes. "All because of stupid Louis."

"Well what happened?" Liam goes over to sit beside the blonde and pulls him into his arms, Niall resting his head on Liam's shoulder.

"Louis and I got into a fight earlier, we said some things and I slapped him after he called me a slut. Harry can't seem to realize that Louis isn't a saint and obviously got mad at me for hitting his precious Louis," Niall explains, sniffling a bit more and leaning into Liam's touch as he ran his fingers through Niall's hair. "I'm not surprised that he would take Louis' side. He forgot to pick me up that Friday we were meant to hang out at Zayn's, completely ignored the fact that Louis got me kicked out of class and now I'm the one who's wrong."

"Fucking Tomlinson. Both him and Harry won't hear the end of it once Zayn finds out," Liam says angrily as he holds Niall just a little bit tighter.

"It isn't fair."

"I know, love."

It's quiet between them for a bit before Liam asks Niall something that's been on his mind since Niall walked in angry.

"Are you sure you don't have feelings for Harry?"

"What? I don't have feelings for that asshole who can't tell right from wrong and would rather defend his not-boyfriend who called me a fucking slut. I'm upset because this is the second time I've been called a slut, Liam, and I don't want this to be senior year all over again," Niall explains sadly as he sits up to look at Liam, a tear finally rolling down his cheek that Liam reaches out to wipe away with his thumb.

"What happened senior year?" Liam asks softly and Niall looks away from him.

"Zayn can tell you, I just don't want to talk about that right now."

"Understandable. Hey, get some rest, yeah? We can go for dinner again later and even watch a movie when we get back."

"You're so nice to me."

"You're like a little brother to me and I'm going to be here for you whenever you need me. I know Zayn and I haven't been the best of friends to you lately and we're sorry, but just know that you mean a lot to me. Anything you need, I'll be here for you," Liam tells Niall in a serious tone, looking at him with soft brown eyes.

Niall gives him a soft smile before he's wrapping his arms around Liam who hugs him back tightly. That's all Niall's wanted. He wanted a friend that he could count on for anything and he thought he'd found that in Harry, but he'd been looking in the wrong place because all Harry cared for was Louis. Harry was never going to care for him in the way that Niall was starting to care for Harry.

*

"And then Shawn jumped in to defend him! Can you believe that little backstabbing Canadian?" Louis ranted to Harry as he paced back and forth in Harry's dorm.

"Well Shawn has a thing for him, what did you expect?" Harry asked in a monotone voice as he tried to concentrate on his math assignment.

"What? Shawn told you he likes your boyfriend?"

"Well it's no secret. I mean, have you not seen the way Shawn looks at Niall? He practically melts into a puddle whenever Niall's around," Harry replies a little too angrily and it surprises him.

"Aww, is little Harold jealous?" Louis teased and Harry doesn't get it. Doesn't get why there's a strange feeling in him that starts every time he mentions Shawn and Niall in the same sentence.

"I feel like I messed things up with Niall."

"Bros before hoes, lad. Don't feel bad for not defending your boyfriend because he hit me, in case you're forgetting."

"Yeah you're right," Harry says with a sigh as he looks over at Louis who smiles softly. Harry blushes slightly and turns back to his work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Edited April 7, 2018**


	5. "sorry"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Okay so, I was wrong and I'm sorry. So very incredibly sorry and I really want to make it up to you," Harry says as he looks Niall in the eye.

_"Yeah, I know that I let you down. Is it too late to say I'm sorry now?"_ \- Justin Bieber

*

It's Friday and Niall hasn't talked to Harry since their fight. Niall would like to think that he's ignoring Harry, but in reality the other boy hasn't really made much of an effort to even talk to Niall. No texts, no calls and no walking up to the blonde in between classes. Niall tried to pretend that it didn't hurt, but Liam and Zayn both knew that it did and they didn't want to keep seeing their blonde best friend so down.

The blonde tried to focus all of his time in his school work and his job at the diner. He's called his mom once and FaceTimed with his younger siblings twice promising to go home and visit again soon, but Niall's sure that that soon won't be until Thanksgiving break.

During those few days Niall's also been in a small battle with himself and his feelings. He kept telling himself that he was upset about the whole situation because it stirred up bad memories and not because Harry very obviously would rather take Louis' side in everything. Niall tried telling himself that he didn't feel anything for Harry beyond friendship, but even he was starting to doubt himself.

*

"Then how the hell are you still friends with Louis?" Liam questions Zayn with a bit of a horrified expression on his face after learning the reason why Niall hated Louis so much. "I don't understand you."

"Trust me, I still hate what Louis did to him, but underneath all that mess that is Louis Tomlinson, he's a nice guy. We really only started to hang out last year because our girlfriends were friends and well," Zayn explains with a shrug as he tidies up around his apartment, throwing a pair of shoes into a closet.

"Well I don't think I can look at Louis the same way now. Have you talked to Louis since what happened a few days ago?"

"No. I've ignored him because I warned him to stay the fuck away from Niall and to stop messing with him, but he doesn't listen. He'd told me that he wasn't the same person and that he wanted to be mature over what happened and he even wanted to apologize, but as far as things are looking, I don't think he'll ever apologize. And I'd totally understand Niall if he never ever wanted to forgive Louis."

"What about Harry? Have you talked to him?" Liam asks curiously from where he's sitting on the couch.

"No, but when I do, he's gonna wish he'd stayed away from Niall," Zayn warns and Liam nods.

"Well why don't we talk to him together? Get him to see how wrong he's been about Louis this whole time? Of course without telling him why Niall can't stand Louis."

"Yeah, that sounds good. How's Niall been? You see him more than I do."

"Uh he's still mad. Though I'm not sure if he's mad at Louis or Harry or both. I'm leaning more towards Harry though," Liam tells Zayn who chuckles.

"I just don't get why Harry would defend Louis over his own boyfriend," Zayn wonders and Liam knows why. He knows that Niall and Harry aren't anything so Harry very obviously defended the guy he's been crushing on for over a year now.

Just then there's a knock on the apartment door and Zayn goes over to open it, quite surprised to find Harry standing there with his backpack and looking nervous.

"We were just talking about you," Zayn says as he lets Harry in.

"Me?" Harry questions, even more nervous now as he sees Liam in the living room.

"Yes and how you're stupid for taking Louis' side in what happened when you've probably only heard one side of the story."

"Look, I'm not here to fight and it's obvious that you guys would take Niall's side even though he's the one who threw the first punch," Harry says with a sigh and Liam and Zayn both share an irritated look. "What? I'm right and you know it."

"So it's okay for Louis to call Niall a slut? Is that what you're saying?" Liam asks angrily as he stands up and crosses his arms across his chest.

"What?"

"Of course you don't know. You're so far up Louis' ass that you wouldn't bother getting the full story," Zayn scoffs as he rolls his eyes and walks past Harry to head into the living room where Liam is still standing looking at Harry with a bit of disappointment in his eyes that makes Harry feel ten times more guilty.

"Then what's the whole story because I am genuinely confused right now." Harry begged them as he sat on the other couch and set his backpack down by his feet, the other two sitting on the couch that Liam had been sitting on previously.

When Harry finally hears the whole story, he can't help but feel awful and understand why Niall hit Louis in the first place. Now all he wanted was to go search for Niall and say he was sorry for taking Louis' side.

"Look, you need to understand that Louis isn't a saint so crawl out of his ass and take a good hard look at who you think is an angel. He's far from it because he has flaws and he's made plenty mistakes," Zayn begins to say, giving Harry a pointed look that has him squirming in his seat.

"I just- I'm sorry."

"We're not the ones you need to apologize to and just to warn you that Niall's really upset over everything so it might take him awhile."

"I think I know what to do," Harry tells them with a soft smile.

*

"How's your family?" Shawn asks Niall as the two sit outside sharing a bag of chips, each with a different drink and sitting in the sunlight that kept them warm despite the chilly air.

"Pretty good. The kids miss me and I told them I'd go visit again soon, but that won't be until Thanksgiving break since I've got essays and projects coming up in a few of my lectures," Niall replies as he reaches his hand inside the bag at the same time that Shawn went in as well, their hands bumping into each other and causing the two to blush. Shawn pulled his hand back and let Niall grab a chip first.

"How big are they now? Last time I saw them was during our high school graduation and Nate was pretty tiny."

Niall giggled a little as he covered his mouth and finished chewing.

"Natalie's ten and Nate's five."

The two were in such a deep conversation that they didn't even notice that Harry and Zayn were standing a few feet away from them staring at the two. Shawn made Niall laugh so hard he actually threw his head back and there was a small ache in Harry because he'd never been able to do that.

"I can't just go up there! Shawn's gonna hit me," Harry tells Zayn with a whine and Zayn chuckles. "Have you seen that kid? He's tall and gaining some muscles."

"Stop being such a baby. Shawn wouldn't hurt a fly, but I guess you're right. It's best to get Niall when he's alone. Shawn has a music class that starts in ten minutes and Niall will probably sit there for a few more minutes."

True to Zayn's word, Shawn leaves after a few minutes and Harry's eyes widened a bit when the Canadian lad presses a soft and quick kiss to Niall's left cheek before he leaves. Harry huffs as he walks towards Niall, hearing Zayn chuckle behind him.

Niall looks up startled when someone blocks the sunlight and he looks up, frowning a bit when he finds Harry standing in front of him nervously.

"No I haven't touched your precious boyfriend again," Niall spat out as he crumbled up the now empty bag of chips.

Harry takes in a deep breath before he lets it out and sits where Shawn had been sitting about a minute ago. Niall simply stares at Harry curiously, watching as the curly haired lad gathers his thoughts as he stares down at the wooden table before looking up.

"Okay so, I was wrong and I'm sorry. So very incredibly sorry and I really want to make it up to you," Harry says as he looks Niall in the eye.

"And what made you realize you were wrong?" Niall asks instead, not wanting to tell Harry that he was forgiven right away because truthfully Niall was starting to realize he was weak when it came to Harry.

"I got the full story and I really really hate it when people use those kinds of words against others and you know how mad I got when that other asshole called you the s word the other day and I had no idea that Louis had used it on you and I am so fucking sorry for taking his side," Harry explained himself, reaching over to grab Niall's hands and hold them tightly. "I'm sorry and I really want to make it up to you."

"Yeah? And how do you plan on doing that?" Niall asks him slightly amused as he looks at Harry who only smiles back at the blonde.

"You'll see. Are you free tonight? There's this place I want you to see."

"Yeah, I'm free and where is this place? If I may know?"

"Nope. I'll drop by your dorm at around nine and we'll go. Make sure you dress warm though and thank you for not hating me completely. I know I've messed up when you've been nothing but a great friend and I owe it to you to make it up to you. I promise to make things right because I don't want to lose my best friend."

Niall smiled fondly at Harry and gave him a short nod. Harry smiled back excitedly before he leaned over to kiss the other cheek that Shawn hadn't kissed before he ran off, leaving behind a shocked Niall who slowly smiled wider and touched his cheek lightly.

*

"Where are you going?" Louis asked as he watched Harry pull out a jacket from his closet.

"Going out with Niall," Harry replies shortly, not even sparing a glance at Louis who frowned. He'd arrived at Harry's dorm about a minute ago and so far the curly haired lad hadn't said much to him.

"Are you mad at me?" Louis wonders as he sits on Harry's bed, watching Harry grab a beanie out of his drawer and some gloves.

"Yeah I am because you never told me the full story of your fight with Niall," Harry tells him angrily as he looks at his crush, green eyes set in a glare. "You had no right in calling him a slut and I'm so fucking mad that I defended you when you clearly deserved that slap you got."

"But you're my best friend Harry and you know how much I like you. I thought you would be on my side," Louis said in a soft voice, trying for a seductive tone as he got up off the bed and walked towards Harry who shook his head, face showing the disappointment he felt and that Louis hated. "Fine. I'm sorry, okay? I was way out of line and I admit to bothering Niall first, happy?"

"No because I'm not the one that you need to apologize to. Now if you'll excuse me, I have somewhere to be."

Louis leaves Harry's dorm room without another word and Harry sighs as he grabs a navy blue colored blanket, his car keys and his phone before he heads out. Harry walks out of his dorm and heads towards Niall's. Once he reaches Niall and Liam's dorm, he knocks on the door and is greeted by Liam who gives him small nod before letting him in.

"You ready to go?" Harry asks the blonde who nods. "Bring a blanket."

"Um okay," Niall answered a little hesitantly and went over to grab one of the extra blankets in the closet. "Bye Liam."

"I want you back safe and sound!" Liam calls just before Niall closes the door and shakes his head, cheeks red and Harry chuckles.

"So where are we going that I require a blanket?" Niall asked Harry as they stepped outside, thankful that tonight wasn't as cold as it had been the last few days.

"Just sit back and enjoy the ride, bro. I promise you'll like where we're going," Harry reassured Niall who nodded and climbed into the passenger seat of Harry's car. "It's a bit of a ride, though. Forty minutes at the most. It's out of the city so yeah."

"You're not kidnapping me, are ya?" Niall teased and Harry laughed.

"You wish," Harry jokes back as he pulls out of the school property.

The drive wasn't long. It was peaceful and Niall had turned on the music so it played softly and he stared out the window as the skyscrapers and busy streets of the city rushed by as Harry drove. Eventually all the tall buildings were traded for a highway and signs saying 'Rest Stop' next right. Eventually there was a sign that indicated that they were leaving the city and heading into the next town over. Niall was curious to see where Harry was planning on taking him.

"We're really out here," Niall comments as he notices the long stretch of grass and trees with few small houses every now and then.

"You don't mind right? I mean, I know it's late for a roadtrip and all, but I really wanted you to see this," Harry says as he looks over at Niall briefly.

"I don't mind. I'm excited, honestly."

Harry smiled as he faced the road and eventually he got off the highway at the next exit, Niall not being able to read the sign to know where exactly they were. Harry kept driving down a long and empty road, the street lights not being enough to illuminate the long stretches of darkness.

"Must look nice during the day and not so much like a horror movie scene," Niall comments, making Harry let out a loud laugh

"I wouldn't know, I've only been here at night," Harry replies as he pulls up at another smaller emptier road and eventually he parked his car and Niall was surprised of the body of water in front of them. "Come on."

They got out of the car and Niall gasped. The moon was bright and round above in the sky, shining down onto the lake water and the more Niall stared at the dark sky, the more he realized that he could actually see the stars in the sky.

"And?" Harry asked a little nervously as he walked over to Niall with their blankets, the two sitting on the front of the car.

"I haven't seen this many stars since I was back in Ireland," Niall says a little breathlessly as he keeps staring up at the sky with wide blue eyes that look silver under the light.

"I went out for a drive a few days ago and I stopped here and thought you might like it since I remembered that day I found you sitting outside at night," Harry explains, suddenly feeling a little nervous as he fidgets with his fingers, he too staring up at the sky and thankful that it was so clear out.

"I love it, thank you for bringing me here. Makes me feel closer to home."

They're quite for about a minute or two, Harry shifting his gaze down to the lake which was calm with the occasional small wave hitting against the rocks.

"Tell me about Ireland," Harry says suddenly and it snaps Niall out of his daze where he looks over at Harry.

"I loved it and I hated it. It was a peaceful place and I was outside as much as I could. Just running around with my friends in the green fields. I started to hate it shortly before my sister Natalie was born. My father was never a loving caring father like the ones you see in those comedy shows like Full House or a Disney movie. If anything, I always stayed away from him," Niall began to say as he looked back at the moon. "When my mom and dad would argue, I'd sneak out of my room through the window and I'd just sit on the roof staring up at the sky and talking to the moon."

"Did you tell the moon all of your secrets?" Harry teased lightly and Niall chuckled.

"Yeah. The moon's always been my best friend. When we moved here, it was because we were getting away from my father. My mom was pregnant and she didn't want the new baby to be born into a dysfunctional family. My siblings and I actually have my mother's last name becauase father was never around when we were born. My mom was fifteen when I was born and she only had her mom because father didn't think I was his son." Niall shrugged though Harry could tell that it was a topic that hurt Niall a lot.

"Do your siblings miss him?"

"Natalie doesn't, though she doesn't remember him much and Nathan never even met him. He thinks that mom's new husband is his dad and that's for the best that he thinks that. I certainly don't miss him."

Niall shivers a bit after awhile and Harry moves to wrap Niall's blanket around his shoulders. Niall smiles at Harry in thanks and they sit quietly, staring out into the lake both boys lost in their own thoughts.

"I forgive you," Niall suddenly says and Harry jumps in his seat a bit before turning to look at the blonde.

"What?" Harry asks in confusion.

"From earlier when you apologized and I never replied, but I forgive you."

Harry smiles wide before he's pulling Niall into his arms and holding him to his chest. Niall smiles softly as he rests his head on Harry's shoulder, letting out a soft content sigh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, but I went through and edited the previous four chapters and made some very slight not really noticeable changes, nothing too important just some grammar stuff but at least you finally get a new chapter. Thank you for being patient tho :)


	6. "bad blood"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Why do you hate Louis so much? I mean, you don't have to tell me, but I'm just curious. I've been thinking about it since we all hung out at Zayn's place."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING There's a small mention of an attempted suicide, it's very tiny, but please read with caution just in case it triggers anyone :(

_"You made a really deep cut and baby now we got bad blood."_ \- Taylor Swift

*

It's Saturday morning and Niall's walking around the school's garden with his camera wanting to take pictures, but nothing seems to be catching his eyes. Not even the creepy statue of a cherub that used to be a working fountain but now sat empty with vines growing around it and trash in its tub. No one ever comes to the gardens in the morning, so Niall takes advantage of the peace and quiet when he can.

As Niall walks around, he starts to hear the soft strumming of a guitar and he frowns in curiosity as he walks in the direction of the sound, heart beating excitedly when he sees Shawn sitting on an old iron bench.

"Hi," Niall calls and he giggles when Shawn's fingers slip on the chords creating a horrible sound. "Sorry."

"Almost shit myself," Shawn mumbles, but there's a smile on his face and Niall laughs a little as he sits next to him. "What are you doing here? Thought I was the only one who came here during the mornings."

"Well I don't come here often, I just felt like taking pictures today and what better than an old empty garden. Gets you in the Halloween spirit."

Shawn chuckles and strums a few more notes before setting his guitar down and turning to face Niall who has his camera up to his face and pointing it at the fountain in front of them. Niall can feel Shawn's gaze on him and he blushes before lowering his camera and turning to face the Canadian lad.

"What? Did Liam shave off my eyebrows?" Niall questions and Shawn laughs as he shakes his head.

"No just- I can't stop staring at you. I mean, fuck that sounds creepy. You're just really pretty for a boy."

"Um thanks," Niall says a little hesitantly as he looks at Shawn a little shocked, the blush on his cheeks only growing darker. "So what are you doing here?"

"Well I can't really play my guitar in my dorm because my roommate sleeps in until noon so I decided to come and find a quiet place."

Shawn puts his guitar back in its case as Niall stands up to get a closer look at the cherub with the vines wrapping around its legs. Niall finds a dead rose on the vine and snaps a picture of it, Shawn staring at the blonde the whole time. Eventually Shawn gets up and stands next to Niall, looking at the picture he just took through the screen.

"You're good. Every time I try taking a picture it comes out blurry or nothing like the ones you see on Tumblr," Shawn says with a small huff and Niall laughs. "Hey, can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, sure." Niall shrugged as he took another picture of the dead rose from a different angle.

"Why do you hate Louis so much? I mean, you don't have to tell me, but I'm just curious. I've been thinking about it since we all hung out at Zayn's place."

Niall lets out a small sigh and leads Shawn back to the bench they'd been sitting on. He sets his camera down and looks at his lap for a few seconds before answering.

"He's actually my ex," Niall begins to say and Shawn's eyes widen.

**~ Flashback ; 2 Years Ago ~**

"Natalie, we gotta go!" Niall calls to his younger sister who's playing in the snow at the park down the street from her school.

"But why? We just got here, Ni!" She whines, sitting up from where she'd been making a snow angel to pout up at her older brother who shook his head with a fond smile on his face.

"I promised mom and Gabe I'd pick up Nate from the Deakins' house after I picked you up from your dance practice," Niall explains to her.

"Fine," Natalie sighs and stands up, dusting the snow off her snow pants and jacket before going up to Niall who grabbed her gloved hand.

Niall had picked up his eight year old sister from her dance practice and they'd taken a small detour to the park before going off to pick up their three year old brother, Nate, from the babysitters. Their mother had a job meeting and their stepfather was at court with some difficult case. Their mother worked for an important fashion magazine and their stepfather was a lawyer so the two were always busy and Niall was stuck taking care of his siblings when he had free time, but not that he minded because he loved the kids. They'd moved from Ireland three years ago, before Nate was even born running from their past and starting over in a new country. It'd been a difficult move, but they were all perfectly settled in their new lives.

"Alright Nat, wait here for me love," Niall tells his little sister who nods from the backseat of Niall's car.

Niall gets out and goes over to ring the doorbell from the medium sized two story house. The burgundy colored door is opened a few seconds later to reveal a boy around Niall's age with blue eyes and wearing a striped shirt and red jeans.

"Yes?" The boy says curiously.

"Um I'm here for Nathan, my brother," Niall tells him a little nervously, hating the way that his hands began to sweat with the sight of the cute boy in front of him.

"Come in. Lottie!" The boy shouts. "I'm Louis by the way."

"Niall."

"Irish?" Louis questions with a bit of a flirty smile that makes Niall blush and nod. "Hot."

Lottie walks over with the three year old in her arms and Nathan squeals excitedly when he sees Niall who smiles automatically at the sight of his baby brother.

"Ni!" Nathan calls, reaching his arms out towards Niall who quickly takes him from the short girl and kisses Nate's cheeks repeatedly, maiking the three year old laugh.

"Missed you, sport. Ready to go home?"

Nate nodded happily and wrapped his little arms around Niall's neck as Louis walked over with Nate's bag. Niall took the bag from him, his fingers brushing against Louis' lightly and making the blush return quickly. Louis also stuffed a small white piece of paper in a pocket of the bag, giving Niall a small wink. Niall thanks Lottie quickly before hurrying off to the car where Natalie waited impatiently.

Later that afternoon, Niall took the piece of paper and texted Louis a quick 'hey, it's Niall'. To which Louis replied with, 'the Irish guy?' And that was the start of it all.

The two texted back and forth for days and with each passing day, Louis was all Niall could think about. He hadn't seen the brunette in person since that day, but they often Skyped or talked on the phone and Niall felt like he'd be really heartbroken if Louis didn't like him back the way he liked him. Zayn knew about Louis and he liked to tease the blonde about his very obvious crush on the boy, but he also warned him to be careful because Niall could be a little naive.

It was two months into knowing each other that Louis asked Niall out for the first time. They'd met up after school one day, Louis having picked up the blonde and right then and there, Louis asked him out.

"You're asking me out?" Niall asks incredulously and Louis chuckles.

"You're so adorable," he says as he turns in his seat to look at the blonde since they were parked in Niall's school's parking lot, reaching over to pinch the blonde's right cheek. "If you say yes, I'll take you ice skating right now. You do know how to ice skate, right?"

"I do," Niall replies.

"So wanna go on an ice skating date with me?"

"Okay."

Louis smiled wide and began to pull out of the parking lot to head to the ice skating rink the town set up every year for winter in the downtown area. They reach the rink, grateful that there's not many people there so the two get out of the car and head off to get their skates.

"Are you sure you know how to skate? You can back out if you want," Louis asks Niall again and the blonde giggles.

"I feel like I should be asking you instead," Niall replies with a smirk and Louis makes a face at the blonde, smiling as he laughs.

Two weeks later, the two shared their first kiss at the same ice skating rink with Louis pinning Niall against the railing and the blonde's arms around Louis' neck. It was Niall's first kiss and even though he was pretty nervous and had no idea what he was doing, it was pretty good as far as first kisses go.

"So you wanna be my boyfriend?" Louis asks a little nervously as the two sat in Louis car in the backseat, cuddling before Louis takes Niall home.

"Yeah, I'd love too," Niall replies quietly as he looks up at Louis with a dark blush on his cheeks.

Louis grinned and leaned down to capture Niall's lips in a soft kiss that left Niall a little dizzy just like the first one. When they pull away, Niall has a huge smile on his face and Louis looks happy too, but there's something else in his eyes that Niall can't decipher.

Niall's happy, even if they have to keep their relationship a secret. Well Zayn knows because he's Niall's best friend and the blonde can't really keep it to himself so he tells him that he's dating a guy named Louis who's their age but goes to a different high school. Zayn's a little hesitant, but he's happy for Niall and he hopes things go well for the blonde.

"You know what today is?" Louis asks the blonde, the two are laying on Niall's bed and are home alone on the first Saturday in March. Niall's family are all out for Natalie's dance tournament in Pennsylvania and the blonde stayed back because he couldn't get time off at work and had a big project due for school on Monday.

"Um Saturday?" Niall asks curiously as he looks at Louis who laughs and pecks Niall's lips.

"Four months ago today we had our first date."

"We did! I had so much fun."

"Just then?" Louis asks with a smirk as he pulls Niall closer to his body, hand placed firmly against Niall's lower back.

"I always have fun with you," Niall admits a little nervously because they haven't gone beyond kissing and now Louis' hand was about an inch away from his ass and Niall was torn between wanting to feel Louis' hands all over his bare skin or waiting a bit longer. Was four months too soon?

Louis' eyes were filled with lust and one look into his eyes and Niall makes up his mind. He moves Louis' hand down to his butt and Louis grins a little as he gives it a small squeeze, making Niall bite his bottom lip. Louis' lips brushed against Niall's teasingly, the blonde letting out a soft noise of displeasure before he captures Louis' lips in a heated kiss. It's messy and Louis has Niall pinned to the bed in seconds, working his hands under Niall's shirt.

"L-Louis," Niall panted in a needy tone as he pulled back from kissing Louis.

"What do you want, babe?" Louis asked, fingers already working on pulling at the strings of Niall's sweatpants.

"All of you."

An hour later Niall couldn't believe he'd gone all the way with Louis. Louis who was now getting dressed and wasn't looking at Niall anymore.

"Do you have to go so soon?" Niall asks him, biting his bottom lip as he pulls the sheets up higher as he felt cold and way too exposed.

"Yes. I'm sorry but I've got work in an hour and I need to go home and shower, but I promise that I'll call you later," Louis says though his tone is slightly cold and he stands up from Niall's bed. "Bye Niall."

"Bye," Niall says softly and his eyes welled up with tears as he watched his boyfriend leave without a kiss.

If Niall thought that having Louis leave his house after they had sex without a second glass was bad, what waited for him on Monday morning was much worse. When he walked into school, he was greeted by Zayn who looked a little pale and Niall grew worried.

"What's wrong?" Niall asked him and Zayn grabbed his arm and dragged him to the restroom.

"You haven't seen what's going around on social media?" Zayn asked him frantically as he began to pace the bathroom and Niall shook his head, heart going down to his stomach because if Zayn was acting like this, then it had to be bad.

"Zayn?"

Zayn pulled out his phone and began to search before he turned his phone to show Niall. Niall grabbed the phone and took a look at the picture, well it was techically a video. The blonde hit play with shaky fingers and watched. In the video, Niall had his lips around who he knew was Louis' cock, but to everyone else who'd seen it, it was just Niall sucking a random guy off. The video lasted no more than fifteen seconds, but Niall could already feel his world crashing down around him.

"H-He- oh my gosh," Niall sobbed, handing the phone back to Zayn before burying his face into his hands as he struggled to catch his breath. "Zayn."

"I'm sorry, babes," Zayn says softly as he wraps his arms around Niall and holds the blonde as he cries brokenly into his chest.

**~ End Of Flashback ~**

"H-He leaked that video?" Shawn asked in shock and Niall nodded sadly.

"Yeah and I didn't even know he'd taken that video. He was friends with this guy that went to our school and once Louis told him that he'd met me, they came up with this plan to humiliate me and it worked. For weeks all I ever heard was people calling me a slut and a few guys walked up to me asking for favors," Niall finishes telling Shawn who was looking at the ground deep in thought.

"I remember, just never imagined that you'd gotten betrayed like that by someone you thought you could trust. I also remember that week before spring break, you were gone the whole week."

"Everything got to be too much. My stepdad found me on Monday morning before school with a bottle of pills. I just wanted the pain to stop," Niall chokes out, eyes filling with tears as he thought back to when he was at his absolute worst.

"Fuck," Shawn mumbles before he's wrapping his long arms around Niall and holding him tight, closing his eyes as he tries to shake off the image of a sad seventeen year old Niall thinking about ending his life because of what happened.

Niall takes in a shaky breath as he holds onto Shawn, closing his eyes tightly.

"It still hurts and seeing Louis everyday only keeps reminding me of what happened. And that fight we had the other day?" Niall says as he pulls away from Shawn. "He told me to fucking let it go as if all that he'd done was steal money from me. He broke my heart and ruined my life. I've been so scared of relationships since then. Louis was my first and last time as well."

"But you took a risk with Harry and I really hope he's treating you the way you desrve to be treated," Shawn tells him softly, staring into Niall's eyes and resisting the urge to touch him the way he wants. To run his fingertips across Niall's pale cheeks, hold him a little closer.

 _'Oh right, my boyfriend,'_ Niall thought.

"Yeah, we've been taking it slow," Niall answers, looking away from Shawn and back to the creepy cherub. "We don't want to rush into anything."

"Have you told him?"

"No. He thinks Louis is this amazing person with a big heart and as much as I'd like to tell him the truth, I'd rather not take the risk of him not believing me or something. Besides, I've been trying hard to forgive and forget, but it's not easy."

"Well, I think you should tell him. Maybe then Harry will stop with his creepy obsession of Louis he has."

Niall gave a small chuckle and stood up to go take more pictures.

Awhile later Niall is heading back to his dorm when he bumps into Zayn and Harry. The blonde smiles at them, though Zayn frowns a little as he notices Niall's slightly teary eyes.

"You okay?" Zayn asks as he wraps an arm around Niall's shoulders.

"Yeah just thinking about some things. Anyways, what are you guys up to?" Niall asks them casually, his camera hanging around his neck and a huge smile on his face.

"We're going to grab something for lunch, wanna come?" Harry asks the blonde with a smile.

"Sure. Just let me drop this off at my dorm and I'll catch up to you guys."

Harry watches as Niall heads off, Zayn smiling and shaking his head at his friend.

"You're drooling," Zayn jokes and Harry snaps out of it and he turns to look at him with a frown.

"What?" Harry asks.

"You were staring at Niall a little too hard. Didn't know you liked my Nialler that much."

Harry doesn't say anything because he has no idea how to respond to that. Niall runs over to them after awhile, cheeks a little flushed and a large smile on his face. A difference from when they'd bumped into him a few minutes ago.

"Ready to go?" Zayn asks the blonde.

"Yeah," Niall replies and Harry doesn't even think twice about his next actions. He simply reaches over and grabs Niall's hand, lacing their fingers together. Niall looks up at him and offers him a small smile that Harry gladly returns with a bigger and brighter one.

Things were getting complicated and Niall knew it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not April in Wisconsin if you don't have at least one snow storm, but this one takes the trophy for all snow storms because it rained all day yesterday and now it's been snowing all day and I'm pretty sure we're expecting over a foot of snow by this point and the snow storm is apparently going to last all day tomorrow as well and they keep saying things will only get worse. The news say this is the worst April storm we've gotten in years
> 
>  **Update:** It's now a blizzard warning, someone please help me


	7. "i wish"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Doesn't my Alice look sexy though?" Harry asks Zayn as he slaps Niall's ass, making the blonde spill his drink a little. Zayn only laughs harder at Niall's disgruntled expression.

_"He takes your hand, I die a little. I watch your eyes and I'm in riddles."_ \- One Direction

*

"So Halloween is in a few days, you are going to the costume party that Kyle Jacobs is throwing, right?" Harry asks Niall as the two sit at their usual picnic table, Niall with his laptop and editing the pictures he took a few days ago at the gardens.

"Um yeah, but I don't have a costume yet," Niall replies as he looks up at Harry who looks like he's thinking about something before his lips stretch into a smile and his eyes light up. Niall closes his eyes to prepare himself. He knows Harry enough by now to fear Harry's ' I have an idea' look. "I've only really been around you for three weeks, but your ideas scare me the most."

"Hey, that's mean. No, look, I don't have a costume either and since people think we're dating, why don't we pick like a couple's costume or something?"

"Um okay. Any ideas?"

"How about Grease? I can be Danny and you can be Sandy!" Harry suggests and Niall makes a face as he shakes his head.

"Why do I have to be Sandy? Besides, Zayn's the only one who can pull off Danny," Niall tells him and Harry pouts. "He's got that bad boy vibe that you obviously lack."

"You're difficult, but true. Hmm, oh! How about I'm the Joker and you can be Harley Quinn? But like not Suicide Squad Harley Quinn, though you'd look hot in those booty shorts."

"Again, why do I have to be a girl?"

"Are you free later today?" Harry asks instead and Niall nods. "Good. Let's go buy our costumes then. Batman and Catwoman?"

"Harold."

Harry laughs at Niall's irritated face, but let's the blonde keep working on his pictures.

*

Later that afternoon, the two venture out into the city to a costume shop and Niall's quite overwhelmed with the different options. Disney costumes, silly costumes, horror movie costumes. There's so many and Niall doesn't know what to pick.

"You'd make a sexy Alice in Wonderland," Harry suddenly says as he grabs an Alice costume for adults with a short blue dress and white thigh high socks with black bows on the front. Niall glares at Harry who laughs. "Come on, at least try it on? I'll be the Mad Hatter."

"You're not going to take no for an answer, are you?" Niall asks Harry who shakes his head so Niall glares harder at the curly haired lad and takes the costume. "I'll go try it on."

Harry follows Niall to the dressing rooms and waits sitting on a chair as Niall heads inside of one with the costume and a blonde wig Harry had handed him. Niall stares at the costume for a minute before he sighs and starts to undress himself. Surprisingly the dress fits him like a glove, hugging his body like a second skin and the skirt ended mid thigh. The skirt was a little poofy, which made Niall's butt look a little bigger. Nial looked at himself through the mirror and frowned.

"Nialler, are you almost done in there? It's just a dress, how hard can it be to put on?" Harry asks from the other side of the door and Niall sighs.

Niall opens the door after fixing the wig and looks at Harry with an unimpressed look. Harry's mouth opens a little as his eyes looked Niall up and down slowly. The blonde, despite feeling irritated, felt the heat rush up to his cheeks and he shuffled his socked feet on the ground a little nervously.

"Fuck, best decision I ever made," Harry mumbles as he grabs Niall's hand and spins him around. "You're taking this."

"How about no," Niall replies, though he's refusing to look at Harry. "All I said was that I'd try it on. I never agreed to buying this. Though I do feel a little comfortable. Definitely much better than skinny jeans."

Harry laughs and looks at Niall's outfit one last time.

"Alright my sexy Alice, change back so we can go," Harry tells him and Niall blushes and quickly heads back into the changing room which made Harry laugh.

"Stupid Harry," Niall grumbles as he struggles to unzip the dress. "Harold! I can't take this fucking thing off!"

"Coming!" Harry calls back and suddenly he opens the door and steps inside the small room with a cheeky grin and Niall rolls his eyes.

"Just unzip this and get out."

Harry pouts but does as he's told and then he leaves the room, but Niall still felt the tips of Harry's fingers trail down across his bare back and it made him shiver slightly.

When Niall changes back to his regualr clothes, he grabs the costume and meets Harry out by the front of the store so they could pay for their outfits. Harry did in fact pick out a Mad Hatter costume and Niall wondered how ridiculous they'd both look come Halloween night.

"We're going to rock this," Harry says as they head out to his car.

"Or we're going to be the dumbest ones there," Niall replies and Harry chuckles.

"You'll be the sexiest one there, I know."

Niall blushed and turned to look out the window to hide his blush from Harry who was now talking about something else that Niall only paid half attention too.

The days leading up to Halloween are slow and tiring. Niall spends nearly a whole night awake trying to finish an essay that he forgot wasn't due for another three days and he forgets to study for a test in his English class. He sees Harry once during those few days and unfortunately sees Louis a bunch of times. He texts Shawn often and Liam still gives him that worried older brother look anytime he mentions Harry in the slightest bit.

Halloween finally arrives and Niall sits on his bed in his dorm just glaring at his costume as Liam laughs after finally being able to see it. He laughs so hard there are tears rolling down his cheeks and he's clutching at his stomach, any type of sound barely leaving his mouth anymore and Niall wishes looks could kill because then he'd have his best friend six feet under.

"Alright! Can you stop laughing and leave so I can get ready without you making fun of me?" Niall asks his best friend who's laughter is finally dying down by now.

"Alright. I'll see you at the party," says Liam as he goes over to Niall and kisses his head before leaving. Liam's dressed in a Captain Jack Sparrow costume.

When Harry knocks on the door, Niall's already dressed and has one thigh high sock on and the other missing. Niall opens the door, standing up straight and smiling at Harry who actually looks pretty amazing in his Mad Hatter outfit. Harry grins and he checks Niall out again, eyes lingering on Niall's bare leg which is smooth and pale and all Harry wants is to run his hands all over his skin.

"You look amazing," Harry says softly, voice free of any teasing and laced with something that Niall would rather not know what.

"You don't look so bad yourself," Niall tells him with a smile before he heads back to look for his sock. "Um I can't find my other sock."

"It's in your hand, love."

"What?" Niall frowns and looks down, letting out a groan as he sees the last costume piece in his right hand. "I'm losing me head."

Niall sits down on Liam's bed to put on his sock, unaware that Harry was watching his every move. The blonde then searches for his shoes, which were his old Vans because there was no way in hell he was wearing heels. He was already in a dress and wig, he didn't need heels.

"Alright, I'm ready," Niall finally says as he walks up to Harry who grins and grabs his hand before they leave the room.

The party is in some rich kid's house, so Niall isn't all that surprised with the amount of people outside and inside. Everyone is dressed as something and Niall's pretty sure he saw a guy dressed as a condom packet handing out free condoms to couples making out. Harry simply laughs at that and drags Niall inside the house and towards the kitchen.

Niall's just glad that it's Halloween because no one even looks at Niall dressed in a dress and wig. He's glad for all the weird costumes and well most of them are already drunk.

"Hi Zayn!" Harry greets the dark haired male who's dressed like he belongs in the movie Grease with his black hair gelled back and the leather jacket and white t-shirt.

"Told you that only Zayn could pull off something like that," Niall tells Harry who pouts and the blonde grabs a cup and pours himself some of the spiked punch that's a pretty blue color.

"Aww relationship goals!" Zayn laughs as he sees the two, a beer bottle in his right hand.

"Yeah yeah," Niall mumbles as he takes a sip of his drink.

"Doesn't my Alice look sexy though?" Harry asks Zayn as he slaps Niall's ass, making the blonde spill his drink a little. Zayn only laughs harder at Niall's disgruntled expression.

The three go off to stand in a corner and Louis joins them dressed as Peter Pan. Niall avoids looking at him and instead focuses his attention on the song playing through the speakers.

"Niall, thought you'd be my Tinker Bell?" Louis asks the blonde in a teasing manner and Niall rolls his eyes.

"And I thought you were coming dressed as a pile of shit," Niall replies and Zayn laughs loudly, Harry burying his face into Niall's neck to hide his smile.

"And were you dressing as the ass?"

"You would know about asses."

"Alright lads." Zayn warns them before they go at it again and he glares at Louis who huffs.

Harry only wraps an arm around Niall's waist in a comforting manner but he doesn't say anything because he doesn't understand why the two hate each other so much. Niall continues to drink his punch and eventually Liam and Shawn join them. Liam had taken off his wig and Shawn was dressed as Dracula.

Harry sees the way that Shawn's checking Niall out and it stirs something in him that he doesn't know how to interpret. Instead he just wraps both his arms around Niall's waist and keeps his nose buried into Niall's neck, breathing in his scent. Liam gives Niall a look that the blonde ignores and simply places his free hand over one of Harry's as he keeps talking to Zayn and drinking his punch.

"Babe, lets go dance," a tipsy Harry says awhile later as he holds onto Niall's hips.

"Lets go!" Niall shouts and hands his cup off to Liam who shakes his head and watches the two head off to dance just as the song changes to Work by Drake and Rihanna.

"Having fun?" Harry asks the blonde in his ear, hands placed on Niall's hips.

"Surprisingly I am," Niall replies with his eyes closed as he leans back into Harry, his back to Harry's strong chest as they danced around to the music.

"Good." Harry grins and turns Niall around so he's facing him, wrapping his arms all the way around Niall's small waist.

Niall's eyes open to look up into Harry's green eyes, a drunken smile on his face as he wraps his arms around Harry's neck.

"You know, I genuinely thought that Harry dating Niall was fake and that he was doing it to make me jealous, but I guess not," Louis says a little sadly as he takes a sip of his beer, eyes fixed on a spot behind Liam.

"What?" Liam asks curiously and he turns around only to see Niall and Harry making out and with one of Harry's hands on Niall's ass, inching closer to the bottom of Niall's dress to sneak his hand inside.

Niall knew that he shouldn't be kissing Harry, but he was drunk and Harry's lips were so soft against his and they made all of his thoughts disappear and get replaced with 'Harry' and 'more'. He felt the way Harry's left hand traveled from its place on his lower back down to his ass and give the left cheek a small squeeze as he pulled Niall's smaller body closer to his.

"Fuck," Harry mumbles against Niall's lips, giving them a small peck and Niall grins. Before the two can kiss again, there's tap on Harry's shoulder and he turns to see the guy dressed as a condom packet who's grinning at the two and hands Harry a condom before walking off.

"That's awkward," Niall mumbles with a red face and Harry laughs and tucks the little square into a pocket of his jacket. If him and Niall were actually dating, he'd be dragging the blonde to the nearest available place to give the condom a good use.

Liam's suddenly right next to them and pulling Niall away from Harry before the two can go back to what they were doing before Condom Guy interrupted them.

"Payno!" Harry greets him with a large grin.

"Hi Haz, mind if I borrow Niall for a bit?" Liam asks and Harry nods.

"Sure! I'll be with Lou and them babe," Harry tells Niall as he pecks his lips.

"Bye!" Niall waves at him giggling as Liam drags him away and out to the backyard, finding a quiet corner so they can talk.

"Niall, the fuck are you and Harry doing? He was grabbing your ass and you two were making out like it was the most normal thing for you two!" Liam scolds Niall who sways a bit and holds onto the wall to steady himself.

"No one's ever kissed me like that since Louis and I'm sorry if I'm enjoying myself too much with this," Niall says, suddenly sounding so much more sober than earlier and Liam's eyes widened in surprise at Niall's confession. "I haven't felt like this in two years, Li, and for some fucked up reason, I sometimes miss Louis."

"But finding comfort in someone that's just your friend isn't right. You're hurting yourself by doing this."

"I know, but it'd been so long since I kissed anyone and his lips felt so soft against mine. Besides, we're both drunk and it's a party Liam! We're just trying to have fun."

"You're digging your own grave here. You're going to get your heart broken if you get too attached and you know it," Liam says in a soft tone as he looks at Niall who's looking down at his feet with a frown.

"I know and that'll be my fault."

They head back inside and Niall does feel his heart crack a little when he sees Harry with his arm around Louis as they talk to Perrie who's dressed as Elsa from Frozen. Niall jumps a little when he feels Liam's hand on his back and Niall avoids looking up at his friend. Instead Niall goes off to get a drink and he bumps into Shawn along the way.

"Hey, thought you'd left," Shawn says with a grin and Niall shakes his head with a small smile.

"Nah. I was outside talking to Liam. You look great," Niall tells Shawn with a slight blush on his face as he goes to make himself a drink with all the bottles of alcohol and even soda that were set on the table next to the punch bowl that was now empty.

"You think so? I chose it kinda last minute. I think you're the best one here."

Niall bites his bottom lip as he looks up at Shawn a little shyly and the two go off to dance together. Meanwhile Harry who's still with Louis and Perrie, sees Niall and Shawn dancing and laughing and he wants to be happy for Niall, but there's something in him that isn't letting him. He doesn't like the way Shawn's free hand rests on Niall's hip. Niall and Harry's eyes locked together and Harry dropped the arm he had around Louis' shoulders down to his waist, a small smirk on his face. Niall bit his bottom lip and rolled his eyes as he stepped up closer to Shawn, leaving no space between them and Shawn's arm now wrapped around his waist fully, a playful twinkle in Niall's blue eyes that made Harry shake his head.

Harry leaves Louis' side and he disappears from Niall's sight for a few seconds before he's suddenly making his way through the crowd and walking up to him and Shawn. Niall can't help the way that his heart starts to beat wildly in his chest or the way that his lips tingle a little with the memory of Harry's lips pressed against his.

"Mind if I take back my boyfriend?" Harry asks Shawn who shakes his head and walks away without another word.

Niall was about to say something when Harry began to take him somewhere private. Niall stumbles after him and he soon finds himself being pinned to a wall in an empty bedroom.

"What are you playing at, Horan?" Harry asks as he narrows his eyes into a harsh glare, face inches away from Niall's.

"I'm not playing at anything, _Styles_. I'm just trying to have fun with Shawn," Niall replies innocently, letting out a small gasp as Harry pinned his arms up above his head in a tight hold. "What's it to you anyways? You were with Louis looking pretty cozy."

"I don't understand," Harry mumbles as he let's go of Niall's arms and drops his head on the blonde's shoulder.

"I don't either," Niall replies softly as he wraps his arms around Harry. Apparently Niall wasn't the only one confused about everything.

Harry wraps his arms around Niall's waist and hugs him tight. Downstairs the party was still going and some kids were chanting something that Niall couldn't make out nor did he care about. Instead he just gripped at the back of Harry's coat and closed his eyes.

"You should wear dresses all the time," Harry suddenly says and Niall doesn't know why it makes him laugh so hard, but it sets Harry off too and the two are laughing like it's the funniest joke they've ever heard.

The two head back downstairs and find their group of friends, Liam eyeing the two suspiciously.

"Having fun?" Zayn teases the two who blush. "You were both gone quite awhile."

"Just needed some time alone with my boyfriend," Harry replies with a cheeky grin, his arm wrapped around Niall's waist and definitely giving the others the wrong idea, but Niall supposes it's best that Louis thinks that they're sexually active even though Niall has a trauma now. The only action he's gotten since Louis has been his hand. Niall's scared that he'll get recorded again without his knowledge and that the video will get put up for everyone to see.

Liam frowned at Niall who shook his head.

"I feel like we should have gone trick or treating," Louis says out of nowhere to get the topic away from Niall and Harry supposedly getting it on in a bedroom upstairs.

"Yeah, a bunch of college kids trick or treating with kids half our size and age. That's not weird or creepy at all," Shawn responds to Louis' comment with a small shake of his head and the others laugh.

"I have a question," Harry says in Niall's ear.

"What is it?" Niall asks with a frown as he looks up at Harry who's staring down at the end of his dress.

"What kind of underwear are you wearing?"

Niall blushes bright red, thankful that he others were busy in their own conversation to pay them any attention. Harry chuckles and presses a kiss to Niall's temple, rubbing his side softly. Harry goes to lift up Niall's dress and the blonde smacks his hand away.

"Hey! Didn't you guys get enough of each other upstairs? Horny bastards," Zayn scolds them and this time both Niall and Harry blush.

Harry and Niall leave the party after three in the morning, both still a little tipsy but sober enough to not start making out again just because. Despite what happened, Niall and Harry don't feel awkward around each other and they even hold hands as they make their way to Niall's dorm.

"Alright my Alice, we're here," Harry says softly as they stand in front of the door. "Thanks for dressing up like this. I had a lot of fun tonight."

"Surprisingly I don't regret it and I had fun too," Niall replies as he looks at Harry with tired eyes. "Even getting that free condom."

They both laugh at that and Harry pulls Niall into a hug.

"Have a nice night," Harry tells him, Niall's blonde wig getting slightly into his mouth.

"You too."

They pull away and Niall heads into his room, closing the door after him and leaning against it with a sigh escaping his lips.

This was starting to get complicated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still alive, I just needed a break from writing and I didn't realize that I still had a pre written chapter in my drafts so here it is
> 
> That condom Niall and Harry got will make a comeback in later chapters so like side eye emoji
> 
> Nearly two weeks later and I'm still not over Avengers Infinity War, like I'm still broken over it.


	8. "falling over me"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hey Shawn," Niall greeted him, lips curving into an automatic smile as he stopped walking to let the Canadian lad catch up to him. "How's your day?"

_"who you are is falling over me,"_ \- Demi Lovato

*

Niall doesn't remember much from the Halloween party, but he remembers enough to know that he and Harry had quite a make out session and then Liam tells him that the two disappeared upstairs for quite awhile.

"You seriously don't remember?" Liam questions the blonde as they eat breakfast at Zayn's.

"Just small things, like that guy that was handing out condoms giving Harry and I one," Niall replies as he scoops some cereal in his spoon though his stomach was definitely not in the mood for cereal. Or any type of food at the moment.

"Makes sense. So you guys headed upstairs because you had a condom that some random dude gave you," Zayn tells Niall as he laughs and Niall glares at his best friend. "So you don't remember if you guys had sex?"

"We didn't," Niall replies quickly and Liam's eyes widen as Zayn looks at him suspiciously.

"How do you know? You just said that you didn't remember much from last night."

"I would have felt it, trust me. It's been two years Zayn."

"You haven't had sex in two years?" Liam questions the blonde in shock.

"Look where my first and only time got me. Ruined my fucking reputation," Niall replies bitterly as he stares at his now soggy cereal, which gross. He's definitely not hungry now. "It's kinda hard for me to trust someone like that now. Louis was a nice guy at first and look what he did to me and I guess I just don't want another Mr.Nice-Guy in disguise."

"But then Harry?" Zayn questions the blonde with a bit of a frown because he doesn't understand how Niall's been trusting the curly haired lad all this time if he still feels like he'll get back stabbed any second if he trusts someone too much.

"I don't know, but he-he's been different in every way from what Louis was. I mean, Harry and I didn't kiss until a week after our first date and I'm learning to trust him." And wow, when did lying become so easy?

Liam smiled at Niall softly though he was still a bit worried about this whole situation. He didn't want Niall to get hurt, but the blonde was already getting too attached to Harry and it looked like Harry was too, but he was still after Louis anyways. He just hoped that things ended soon before Niall and Harry do something they shouldn't.

"Anyways, you two are still single, what's up with that?" Niall asked his two best friends who shook their heads.

"Dani and I are talking again and we want things to work out, but I kinda don't feel the same way anymore," Liam confesses with a shrug as he finishes his breakfast.

"I'm not looking to date at the moment, I've got freedom and I can hook up with whatever girl I want now," Zayn says with a smirk and both Niall and Liam roll their eyes at him. "What?"

"You're a pig."

Zayn laughs at that but doesn't argue. He's happy because he's having a great morning with his two best friends and he's just happy seeing Niall happy.

*

Niall was walking across campus to head towards his dorm after a long work shift and while still nursing a hangover. He hadn't talked to Harry all day, and if he was being honest, that was okay because after what happened yesterday at the party, well...

"Hi Niall!" Someone greeted and Niall turned to face Shawn walking towards him with a bright smile on his face.

"Hey Shawn," Niall greeted him, lips curving into an automatic smile as he stopped walking to let the Canadian lad catch up to him. "How's your day?"

"Pretty great, and yours?" Shawn asks as the two walk towards that picnic table that Niall always sits on with Harry and the blonde doesn't understand that weird feeling in him when the two sit. It kinda feels like he's cheating on Harry by using their table with Shawn.

"Uh pretty okay. Had breakfast with Liam and Zayn and then headed off to work though I've still got a pretty decent hangover after last night. Just glad Thanksgiving break is coming up soon," Niall explains, playing with an orange leaf that laid resting on the table. "Can't wait to go home for a whole week. Any plans for the break?"

"Uh no. I'm actually staying on campus since my family are heading to Toronto to visit some relatives and I don't plan on just traveling up for a few days to spend my break with relatives I haven't seen since I was two."

"Well, if you want you can come spend the break with me and my family? I mean, if you don't already have plans here," Niall offered a little nervously. He'd have to obviously ask his mom and stepdad, but he was sure they wouldn't mind. They were always asking if Niall wanted to invite his friends over. Niall was pretty sure that they thought that he didn't even have friends.

"I wouldn't want to intrude, Ni," Shawn says softly as he reaches over to grab the blonde's hand which made Niall blush. "Besides, I'm sure you'd rather spend time with your family."

"You wouldn't be intruding. Besides, my parents wouldn't mind and it'd be better than staying here on your own all week. Homemade food, a proper house and a whole week away from this place." Niall tried his best to convince Shawn, because really, what can be better than spending a whole week with Shawn? "Please?" He begged, doing his best puppy dog eyes that had Shawn laughing and giving his hand a soft squeeze.

"Fine, I'll go. Only cause I honestly can't say no to that look," says Shawn softly as he gazes into Niall's blue eyes.

"Huh, would you look at that?" Zayn says in a half playful half confused tone as him, Harry and Liam stand a few feet away from Niall and Shawn who were very clearly lost in their own little bubble. "If it weren't because I've seen you two swap spit, Haz, I would have thought that Niall was dating Shawn and not you."

Harry simply huffed a little angrily and crossed his arms across his chest, unconsciously glaring at Shawn. Liam stared at Harry with amusement clear in his eyes, deciding to stop worrying for his two best friends and instead poke a little fun with the situation. He knew that Niall and Harry were too stupid to admit; they were both crushing on each other and were instead focusing on the wrong people.

"Maybe Niall finally got tired of this giant klutz and went for a better looking klutz," Liam says with a shrug and Zayn snickers, Harry turning to glare at the two guys he was with instead. "Either way, Niall's got a thing for clumsy giants with curly hair."

"Huh," Zayn says in acknowledgement. "So Horan does have a type. Well, completely forgetting the first guy."

"First guy?" Harry asked, turning his attention to Zayn who was now being glared at by Liam.

"Well yeah, Niall's had a boyfriend before, I'm pretty sure he told you, if not, then oops."

"What was he like?"

"He had blue eyes and a complete ass." Was all Zayn said, not wanting to give any more details for fear of Harry figuring out who Niall's ex was. Besides, it wasn't his place to tell, maybe someday Niall would come clean about who'd hurt him so much in the past that nearly made him take his own life.

"Come on, let's go bring those two back from cloud nine," Liam says as the three begin to walk towards the picnic table where Niall and Shawn quickly let go.

"Hey guys," Shawn greets them, ignoring the way Harry sat next to Niall and wrapped an arm around his waist quickly as if telling him that Niall was his.

"How was work?" Harry asks the blonde, kissing his cheek softly and taking a quick peek at Shawn who was busy talking with Liam and Zayn.

"Long. Never going to work again with a hangover, pretty sure I nearly puked on the food," Niall replies, leaning into Harry unconsciously and closing his eyes tiredly.

"You poor thing, but seriously, who even goes to work after partying that hard the night before?"

"Me."

The days leading up to their much awaited one week break, were busy. Very busy. Niall had picked up extra shifts at work when he didn't have classes and spent his time studying. He had no time to be with his friends besides short conversations in between lectures and he'd only talked to Harry via short text conversations. Niall just didn't understand why there was a small ache in his heart. Maybe it was because he'd gotten so used to being with Harry all the time that it was weird not being around him.

"Haven't seen you around. Everything okay?" Zayn asks Niall as the two meet up for coffee on one of Niall's rare off days, just a week before their break.

"Been busy with work and classes. How are you?" Niall asked as he took a sip of his drink.

"Same old. Perrie and I- we went out on a date two days ago," Zayn admits with a soft smile as he looks down at the table and Niall's eyes widen.

"Really?! Are you guys working to get back together?"

"Well, we want to, but we'll see what happens with us. We kinda just drifted apart and we could kinda feel that when we met up again, but I want this to work. I really like her and all."

Niall doesn't say anything and instead gives his best friend a reassuring smile. He wasn't sure if it was a good idea because he could see just how much they'd drifted apart, but if Zayn thinks things can work out between them, then he'll be there supporting his best friend every step of the way.

*

"Okay so, I really like Niall," Shawn confesses and Liam pretends to be shocked for about three seconds before he starts laughing which makes Shawn glare at him.

"No, really? Who would have thought," Liam replies sarcastically and Shawn huffs as he leans back in his seat, textbook open and pens and highlighters scattered around the bed he was sitting on which happened to be Niall's. Him and Liam usually got together twice a week for a small study session and today they happened to meet up in Liam and Niall's dorm. "Dude, that's like no secret. Even Harry knows."

"Figures. He always gets really possessive when I'm around. I just- I'm kind of in a big pickle because like I just realized how much I really like Niall and now I'm spending a whole week with him and his family and-"

"Whoa, wait. What?"

"So my family is heading to Canada to visit some relatives and they leave three days before our break starts so I was meant to stay here because they're visiting relatives that I haven't seen in years nor do I like. Niall asked me what I was doing and when I told him, he offered to let me stay with him and I couldn't say no! I mean, who can say no to Niall?" Shawn rambled, pen tapping a soft rhythm on his notebook.

"I don't think anyone can," Liam agreed quietly and shook his head. "Okay, well what's the big deal? It's just a week and you guys will get to know each other better. There's nothing wrong with that."

"Does Harry ring a bell? You know, tall and green eyes who happens to be Niall's bodyguard, I mean boyfriend?"

"Oh please, Harry doesn't know what he wants," is what slips past Liam's lips and Shawn looks at him in confusion as Liam's eyes widen in realization. "I mean-"

"No, I get it. I mean, he's with Niall but I can see the way he looks at Louis and I really don't want him to hurt Niall," Shawn says with a soft sigh as he sets his pen down and runs a hand through his hair. "Would it be wrong if I made a move on Niall?"

Liam thinks about it for a second and he knows he should say yes because to everyone else it's _NiallandHarry_ , but he also knows that maybe Shawn could help make the other two realize that they're after the wrong people.

"Nope. Go for it." Liam shrugs and goes back to his notes, ignoring the way Shawn looks at him with wide eyes.

*

Their first day of break arrives and with it, Niall and Shawn meet down at the parking lot sometime after eight in the morning ready to hit the road. Harry had left the night before, only having a short half an hour drive back to his home and Zayn was leaving later that afternoon after his work shift while lucky Liam lived in the city.

"I'm so tired," Niall yawns as he places his suitcase in the trunk along with Shawn's.

"We can catch breakfast and then head out. Sound good?" Shawn asks and Niall nods happily at the thought of food and coffee. "You okay with me driving, right?"

"Duh. I'd probably fall asleep and kill us."

They stop for breakfast at the next town over after a nearly half an hour drive. They stop at a McDonald's where Niall orders a big breakfast and the two sit across from each other in a booth talking quietly among themselves to not disturb the elderly people enjoying their breakfast. The more he talked to Shawn, the more Niall realized how much he liked him, even if he felt like there was something that was missing.

He still laughed with Shawn, but his laugh wasn't as loud as it normally was when he was around Harry but it's not like Niall noticed. He was too busy being happy spending time with his crush since high school.

They leave the place after about an hour and are back on the road heading back to their hometown. It's a bit of a drive and Niall would have slept through it had he not wanted to stay up and keep talking with Shawn and singing along to the radio at the top of their lungs. He was having a lot of fun and he wondered if maybe they could do a road trip for their spring break.

"We are about thirty minutes away," Shawn announced after looking at the GPS.

"Oh thank god, my ass hurts," Niall whined as he shifted in his seat and Shawn snickered, eyes on the road to keep a lookout for their exit.

"You've been saying that since the first ten minutes into the drive."

"I'm not meant to sit still for very long. Used to drive my mom nuts."

They soon pull up in the driveway of Niall's home, Shawn parking his car behind a red minivan and Niall quickly gets out of the car, stretching and groaning as his bones pop. Shawn simply laughs as he too gets out of the car. Before Niall and Shawn could walk up to the front porch, the front door was opening to reveal a smiling ten year old Natalie and a five year old Nate.

"Niall!" The two kids cried out happily as they ran over to their older brother who got down to be able to hug them.

"Hi kids," Niall greeted them in between laughs as he hugged his two younger siblings tightly, placing a kiss to their heads. "I missed you all a bunches!"

"We missed you too!" Nate shouted as he pulled away, smiling with his teeth and showing off the fact that he was missing his bottom front tooth. "Are you home forever now?"

"Sorry bub, only for a few days, but I'll be home for the summer so we can go to a lot of cool places, yeah?"

Nate nodded happily and then looked up at Shawn, finding him sort of familiar. Natalie recognized him though and she ran up to him.

"Hi Shawnie," she greeted him with a tight hug.

"Hi Natalie. You've gotten so big," Shawn tells her fondly and she nods happily.

"I grew a lot."

Niall rolls his eyes though he's smiling and runs his hand through Nate's dark hair. Niall and Shawn grabbed their bags before the two kids lead them inside where they called for their mother.

"Hello boys! Hope you enjoyed your drive," Niall's mom said with a bright smile as she walked out of the kitchen to greet them.

"Hi mom," Niall greets her and she pulls him into her arms, hugging him tightly. "Mom!"

"Oh sweetie, I'm sorry! It's been so long," she says as she kisses his cheeks repeatedly and Niall keeps whining which makes Natalie, Nate and Shawn laugh.

"You embarrass me," Niall grumbles once she finally lets him go.

"Shawn dear, it's been awhile."

"It has. Thank you for letting me stay here Mrs Davis," Shawn tells her with a smile.

"Oh please honey, call me Marie. And it's a pleasure to have you here, you know I'm great friends with your mom. Ni, sweetie, take your boyfriend up to get settled in and then come down for lunch."

"Mom!" Niall exclaimed completely mortified and with a bright red face that made Natalie and Nate giggle and Shawn bites his bottom lip to keep from smiling. "I should have stayed on campus."

Shawn follows Niall down to the basement where the blonde's room apparently is. Niall's still blushing and Shawn can't blame him. Moms tend to embarrass quite often.

"You sleep in the basement?" Shawn wonders as they walk past a living room and down a hall where they enter a rather large bedroom with it's own walk-in closet and bathroom.

"Yes. There's an extra room upstairs, but this gives me privacy and such. And it works when you've got nosy little brothers," Niall replies, setting his bag down by his dresser and turning to look at Shawn who's looking around his room.

The walls are painted a light gray and he's got a queen sized bed in the middle with dark blue blankets and gray, blue and white throw pillows. On either side of the bed are black nightstands with lamps on either one. There's enough natural light coming in where it doesn't feel like they're in the basement.

There's a Fall Out Boy poster from their Save Rock & Roll era near Niall's dresser and next to it is a U2 poster as well. On Niall's dresser there's a picture of a younger Niall with Zayn, both smiling wide at the camera. There's also pictures of Niall with his siblings and even on of Niall and his mom on her wedding day.

"Where's your step dad?" Shawn asks suddenly as he lays back on Niall's bed and stares up at the ceiling, hearing Niall in the bathroom doing who knows what.

"Um work. Gabe doesn't get home until four. Anyways, Thanksgiving is tomorrow, you ready to eat until you explode? Mom cooks a lot of food and we'll probably have enough leftovers to take back to the dorm," Niall says as he walks out of the bathroom.

"Hopefully, would definitely save us the money we don't have instead of spending it on fast food all the time," Shawn replies and Niall giggles as he goes over and lays down next to Shawn. "Funny how our moms have been friends since you guys moved here and we never made the effort to do so."

"Well you were kind of a bitch back then," is Niall's response and Shawn mocks being offended as he grabs one of the many pillows and hits Niall with it.

"Was not!"

"Truth hurts, doesn't it?" Niall says in between giggles.

The two laugh for a bit, but then Shawn turns to lay on his side and looks at Niall who copies his actions.

"Thanks for letting me stay with you. I'm really looking forward to spending time with you," Shawn says softly, grabbing one of Niall's hands and intertwining their fingers.

"I'm really looking forward to this break with you," Niall replies softly, giving Shawn's fingers a soft squeeze and smiling at the Canadian lad who smiles back.

Niall still can't comprehend why his heart aches a little or why his mind seems to be repeating one word over and over.

_Wrong._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another update, the world must be ending. I'm not forcing myself to write anymore, if the inspiration comes, great. If it doesn't, then I won't beat myself up over it anymore. It is frustrating though
> 
> Side note, Niall and Harry are idiots


	9. "can i have a kiss"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You're right, that is complicated. And you're stupid for agreeing to fake date someone, that's childish."

_"Excuse me for this, I just want a kiss,"_ \- Kelly Clarkson

*

Their first day passes by quickly. Niall's stepfather gets home about two hours earlier than normal and greets Niall with a big hug. They might not be blood related, but Niall's always seen Gabe as a father. He was there during all of the low points in Niall's life and he was there during all his achievements and smiling like a proud father. Niall's mother was still embarrassing.

She kept telling Shawn stories about a much younger Niall and kept calling them boyfriends which then prompted Gabe to start teasing Niall as well. They might have been aware on the definite obvious crush Niall had on Shawn.

"I love your parents," Shawn says in between giggles as the two head down to Niall's room after having spent some time in the family room with every one else and Marie had brought out a photo album with pictures of Niall when he was a kid. Niall was not impressed by that.

"This is why I don't bring anyone home," Niall grumbles, still feeling embarrassed over what happened.

"Did you ever bring _him_ home?" Shawn asks with genuine curiosity and he doesn't want to hurt Niall by stirring up old memories, but Louis honestly doesn't strike him as the meet your parents kind of person. Well to Shawn, Louis just didn't seem like the type of guy to do something like he did to Niall.

"They knew of him, but no. Never brought him home as my boyfriend. It might seem funny, but I actually never had planned on presenting him to my parents as my boyfriend. Louis was my first boyfriend and I didn't want to rush anything, but even I didn't think we'd ever be serious enough for that, but you know, I fell in love." Niall shrugs as if the situation didn't bother him anymore, but Shawn knows it does. Niall and Louis don't fight on a daily basis for nothing.

"Do you still feel something for him?" Shawn asks carefully as he sits on Niall's bed and sees the way the blonde tenses up.

It's quiet for a bit and Shawn worries that he's maybe going too far, but eventually Niall turns to face Shawn to say, "No. It took awhile, but eventually I woke up one morning months after it happened and instead of feeling love, I felt hate. Maybe I miss him, like we had some good times and I won't deny that. He fooled me."

"I haven't been able to look at Louis the same. You think you know someone."

Niall chuckles and goes to sit next to Shawn, resting his head on the Canadian's shoulder. Shawn smiled and rested his head on Niall's, grabbing Niall's hand and lacing their fingers together. It's quiet between them, but Niall enjoys the silence with Shawn. It's different than being with Harry because Harry talks a lot and can't take the silence like Niall appreciates it.

"We should get ready for bed," Shawn says softly after Niall yawns.

"We should. Been a long day," Niall mumbles tiredly as he stands up. "You can use the bathroom first."

Shawn nods and grabs a few things out of his bag before heading into the bathroom. Niall meanwhile takes the time to check his phone and finds a few texts from Harry.

 **From Harry:** hope u made it safe :)

 **From Harry:** also heard u r spending the break w Shawn??

 **From Harry:** mayb u should have kept the condom

 **To Harry:** HAROLD !!!

 **To Harry:** r u home ??

 **From Harry:** yep and I hope u have fun and stay safe

 **From Harry:** can't wait to see you again

Niall smiled down at that last text, not able to explain why his heart skipped a beat. Before he could focus on the feeling though, Shawn walked out of the bedroom ready for bed and he smiled at Niall who smiled back.

After getting ready in the bathroom and completely forgetting (or ignoring) Harry's last text, Niall heads out to his room where Shawn was already under the covers and playing on his phone. Neither minded sharing a bed, if anything, they were both secretly excited to do so. Though Niall was slightly nervous because the last time he shared a bed with someone his age, well things didn't end so well.

"Oh god I've missed my bed," Niall moans out as he lays down under the covers and Shawn laughs as he keeps playing whatever game has kept him busy for the last few minutes.

Niall rolled over onto his side and cuddled up into Shawn's side, peeking at his phone to see what the Canadian lad was so interested in.

"What are you playing anyways?" Niall asks him, cheek resting on Shawn's shoulder and eyes glued to the different colors on the screen as Shawn matched three of the same little apples on the screen.

"Gardenscapes," Shawn replies and Niall snickers as Shawn runs out of moves before completing the task. "I can't beat this level."

"Level 94? Let me try," Niall says as he takes Shawn's phone and shifts so he can play and let Shawn see.

Shawn watches as Niall concentrates on the game and he sees the moment when Niall's focused expression turns into a frustrated one when he's only got five moves left and not even half of the task completed.

"Fuck this game. This is why I don't like playing them," Niall huffs out as he hands Shawn his phone and he laughs at the blonde. "How long have you been stuck on that?"

"About two weeks. It's gotten so frustrating that I want to delete the game from my phone."

Niall giggles into Shawn's shoulder and takes the phone again, wanting to try out another time. Niall ends up trying another three times before he runs out of lives and groans.

"That level is impossible," Niall says as he hands Shawn his phone back. "It's pure evil."

"Yeah, I know. You said that the last three tries," Shawn reminded the blonde as he set his phone on the nightstand and Niall huffed childishly.

Niall grinned and settled under the covers, moving slightly so his head was now resting on the other pillow and he wasn't laying so close to Shawn. He missed the warmth though.

"Night Shawnie boy," Niall mumbles out tiredly as he turns to turn off the lamp.

"Night Nialler."

The next day, it's a little chaotic. Niall's mom and Gabe's mom are in the kitchen preparing for dinner that night while Gabe is off at a last minute meeting at work and that leaves Niall and Shawn in charge of Natalie and Nate. Usually Niall doesn't mind, but Nate's got a bit of a fever and when he's sick he's clingy and then there's Natalie who's running around the house in a sugar rush and refusing to settle down despite Niall and Shawn telling her to.

"Shoot me," Niall groans tiredly, shifting Nate who was sitting on his lap and resting against his chest, cheeks flushed and a slight pout on his face.

"Aww, come on. This isn't so bad," Shawn tells him with a smile as he watches Natalie run towards the kitchen where they hear her ask for a cookie.

"By the end of the week, you'll be wishing we were back on campus."

Shawn simply chuckles and then Natalie walks back into the living room where she offers Shawn a cookie and sits in front of the TV to watch whatever kid show was on.

Dinner time arrived and the house was filled with Gabe's parents, sister with her husband and two kids. Niall loved Gabe's family and his stepfather's family adored Niall and the other two kids. Dinner had been great and Gabe's family had taken Shawn in with open arms which kinda felt like Shawn was Niall's boyfriend and meeting the family for the first time. Gabe's sister, Kim, had actually asked if they were dating to which the two boys simply blushed and looked at each other shyly and she laughed.

"I approve of him," says Kim during a rare moment when it's only her and Niall in the kitchen, cleaning up the mess from cutting pies for dessert.

"What?" Niall spluttered out, turning to look at his aunt with wide eyes.

"Shawn. He's a great kid and way better than Lewis or Luis or whatever his name was. Why aren't you guys dating? He looks at you like you're the most precious thing in the room and you basically drool over him."

"Um it's complicated," Niall tells her with a slight shrug and she rolls her eyes a bit.

"I'm only twenty seven, tell me about complicated."

Niall explained everything to her; from fake dating Harry who was crazy for Niall's ex to Niall liking Shawn since they were in high school and basically using Harry to see if Shawn would be jealous which Niall had proved on more than one occasion.

"You're right, that is complicated. And you're stupid for agreeing to fake date someone, that's childish."

Niall rolled his eyes playfully but didn't say more. He left the kitchen and headed into the living room where Shawn was sitting with the rest of Niall's family, talking to Gabe.

*

"You have a really nice family," Shawn comments later that night after they've both gotten ready for bed and are in bed, the Canadian still trying to beat his level in Gardenscapes.

"You think so?" Niall jokes and Shawn snorts, pouting when he loses again. "Gimme that."

Niall takes the phone and starts the level, thinking about his moves before making them and Shawn watched in amusement as the blonde concentrated hard on the game. Niall was really determined to beat this level.

"I got it!" Niall shouted in pure excitement, eyes wide and he turns to look at Shawn who looks just as shocked but also relieved.

"Thank fuck," Shawn says before he's cupping Niall's face and pressing his lips against Niall's.

Niall freezes for a bit, phone falling onto his lap before he's kissing back and tangling his fingers in Shawn's curly hair. Niall's mind goes completely blank as their lips move softly against each other's. It's all he's ever wanted since high school, but there's something that feels a bit off and he can't put his finger on what it is.

"S-Sorry," Shawn stutters out nervously as they pull away and Niall shakes his head before pressing his lips to Shawn's again.

The second kiss leaves Niall dizzy and itching for more, but he won't make that mistake again and so soon. The blonde pulls away first this time and they both open their eyes, staring into each other with no idea of what to say or do next.

"I-I'm sorry. I know you're with Harry and-"

"Hey, it's okay," Niall interrupted him and Shawn looked at him weirdly, which okay it sounds weird because like he's supposedly dating Harry, but fuck it because Niall's happy right now and this is something he's been dreaming of for years. "Harry and I- we're not really together. We're just pretending to make Louis jealous."

Shawn frowns a bit as he stares at Niall like he was speaking in a different language which he might as well have been.

"But it all looks so real?"

"The whole point of wanting to make Louis jealous. Don't even ask me why I agreed to do this when I hate Louis so much, but Harry was just tired of waiting around for that asshole and he wanted to see if Louis would react if he dated someone else," Niall explained as he sat back against his headboard and let out a sigh as he hands Shawn his phone back. "Only Liam knows, so please don't say anything."

"Are you sure that you and Harry don't have at least some feelings for each other? He gets pretty jealous and can be a bit possessive sometimes," Shawn asks Niall who shakes his head quickly. "And I promise I won't say anything."

"No no! He's a nice guy, but there's nothing there."

Shawn looked a little relieved by that, but didn't say anything else. Neither of them did.

"It's good to know," Shawn eventually says a little quietly before he settles down in bed and Niall sits there trying to process what the Canadian just said before he gives up and lays down as well.

Nothing else happened after that and the rest of their week went by normally. Niall and Shawn went around town visiting familiar spots and they spent time with Niall's younger siblings. Eventually they've said their goodbyes and they're on their way back to campus.

"Dorm sweet dorm," Niall says as he walks into his dorm where Liam is already at and he looks up from his phone to smile wide at Niall.

"There's my favorite blonde," Liam says as he goes over to hug Niall who hugs him back tightly. "How was your break?"

"Pretty good. Got to spend time with my family and just relax," Niall explains as he starts to unpack his things, a slight blush on his cheeks as he thinks about what went on between him and Shawn.

"And Shawn?" Liam teases.

"What about Shawn?"

"Well he spent the week with you, have fun? Do the dirty?"

"Liam!"

"You two spent a whole week together, you want me to believe that nothing happened between you two?" Liam asks Niall with a raised eyebrow, ready to call Niall out and say bullshit if the blonde says that nothing happened.

"Well, we did kiss... once. Or twice," Niall mumbles, cheeks burning and he avoids Liam's gaze as his best friend and roommate makes an embarrassing squeak of excitement.

"What?! Oh my gosh! Niall, what the hell? Are you guys together now? Wait, does he know about you and Harry not actually being together?"

"No, we're not together and I explained everything to him. He-He hasn't said anything about it, but things have been pretty normal." Niall shrugs with a slight frown.

"Have you not seen the way he looks at you? I'm sure he's just trying to wrap his head around this mess with you and Harry," Liam reassures the blonde who nods.

Neither say anything and instead the two head out to meet up with Zayn who wanted them all to go to dinner together. They don't talk about Shawn anymore and instead Niall asks Liam how his break was. They meet up with Zayn by the picnic table where Niall and Harry usually sit. Zayn isn't alone however, he's with both Shawn and Harry, the three laughing about something.

"Hey guys!" Liam greets them with a large smile and the three turn to look at them, Harry's smile widening when his eyes land on Niall who fidgets a little under his _and_ Shawn's stare. Now that Shawn knows the truth, Niall guesses the Canadian lad is going to be busy keeping an eye on how Niall and Harry interact both around the ones who don't and the ones who do.

"Hi babe!" Harry greets Niall excitedly as he makes his way towards the blonde who smiles as the nervous feeling fades away.

"Hey," Niall greets him softly as Harry pulls him into a tight hug and kisses his head. Whispering in Harry's ear, he says, "We need to talk later."

"Alright. Did something happen?" Harry asks worriedly as he pulls away from the hug slightly to be able to look down at the blonde who smiles reassuringly at him. "Okay."

"Alright lovebirds, can we go? I'm starving," Zayn complains as he stares at the two who'd kind of forgotten who they were with.

Niall and Harry both roll their eyes and all five of them begin to walk towards their usual diner with Niall and Harry walking behind the trio.

"So what'd you need to tell me?" Harry asks quietly now that they are slightly behind the others who are busy talking about something that Harry doesn't care about.

"So uh Shawn knows," Niall tells him just as quietly, looking up at Harry and then over at the others to make sure they're not listening.

"He knows?"

"About us not being actually together. He kissed me so I kinda had to tell him so he wouldn't feel bad thinking I cheated on you."

"You guys kissed?" Harry asks, not knowing why he wasn't as happy as he should have been, but he faked his excitement though.

"Yeah, just kinda happened. We were playing this game on his phone and he'd been stuck on this level and I beat it for him so he got excited and kissed me. I explained everything about your plan of making Louis jealous and then I kissed him again but so far that's it." Niall shrugs a little sadly and Harry's heart aches at that. He didn't want Shawn to lead Niall on and hurt the blonde. "Whatever happens, happens, you know? I'm not gonna be putting my heart out on the line like that again. He knows the truth now and the ball is in his court."

"He'd be crazy to not want anything with you," Harry tells him sincerely, moving to wrap an arm around Niall's waist and pull him into his side. "You're pretty damn special, Horan."

Niall simply smiles up at Harry and rests his head against the curly haired lad's shoulder.

"You're a great friend, Styles."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good news for you guys, I've been writing a lot (usually random things) but it's helping me get out of my funk so the next chapter will definitely be out quicker.
> 
> I am trying to rewrite the plot of this story because I want to shorten it so I can finish this, but I'm a lazy motherfucker who procrastinates even to go use the bathroom so hi.


	10. "dusk til dawn"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "To be honest, I'm not even sure of my own feelings at the moment."

_"I'll hold you when things go wrong,"_ \- Zayn feat. Sia

*

November ends and December arrives with a bitter cold and the first blanket of snow on the ground. With the holidays now just around the corner, Niall's days are exhausting with long work hours and preparing for midterms.

Niall hasn't seen much of his friends beside Liam. Harry's actually been spending a lot of time with Louis recently and Niall's only texted him a few times since they got back from their Thanksgiving break. Niall's also not seen much of Shawn, but he's okay with that because it gives Niall time to sort himself out. He's been feeling confused lately and suddenly he's found himself thinking about Harry more and Shawn less.

Niall doesn't want to admit that he's got feelings for Harry because he knows that will only bring him heartache. Harry is still crazy about Louis and Niall doesn't want to compete with that. He couldn't anyways.

*

"You've been lonely lately, what's up with that?" Liam asks the blonde as the two get ready for bed one Tuesday night, just two weeks before they're meant to be done with school before winter break.

"Just too much going on," Niall mumbles softly with a small shrug. "Not enough time during the day to write papers, work at the diner and study for exams."

"True, but still nothing with Shawn?"

"Nope. I'm kinda starting to give up on that, as painful as it feels and sounds. It's probably better that way anyways, I wouldn't want to lose my friendship with him," Niall explains to Liam as he sits on his bed and Liam nods in understanding.

"If he suddenly asked you out, would you risk it?"

"To be honest, I'm not even sure of my own feelings at the moment."

Liam smiles at the blonde and that's the end of that conversation.

Two days later Niall's heading out of the warmth of the building and out into the cold to head towards his first lecture of the day when he bumps into Harry and Shawn on his way. Niall grips his textbook a little tightly in his gloved hands.

"Hey guys," Niall greets them with a smile.

"Hi Nialler," they both greet, looking at him with soft smiles that Niall is kinda oblivious to.

"What are you guys doing out in the cold?"

"I was heading back to my dorm when I bumped into this guy and we started talking," Harry explains with an innocent smile that makes Niall narrow his eyes at him. Niall doesn't buy it, not one bit.

"Uh huh and I'm a famous Irish singer, but whatever. I need to get to class before I'm late. Again," Niall tells them, ignoring their fond expressions.

Niall starts to walk away when Harry calls him back and the blonde sighs softly before turning to face him. Harry has a small smirk on his face and Shawn stands behind Harry with a curious expression.

"Hey babe, dinner later?" Harry asks Niall and the blonde's eyes flick over to Shawn who looks like he's sucking on a lemon and Niall gets what Harry's playing at now so he smiles back. Might as well have a little fun. If Shawn won't make a move then who's going to stop Niall from going on a date with someone else?

"It's a date," Niall agrees with a smile.

"I'll pick you up at your dorm at six so be ready."

Niall nods and then starts walking away again after a goodbye to both boys.

True to his word, Harry picks up Niall at his dorm a few minutes before six and then head off to a Chinese restaurant where they sit at a table for two.

"Did you see Shawn's face?" Harry asked with a laugh and Niall giggled as he took a sip of his lemonade. "He looked like he'd drank that cartoon of sour milk Zayn had in his fridge over break."

"Gross. You know, after so many years, I thought that the day I finally got a proper reaction out of Shawn that indicated that he liked me, that I'd end up jumping for joy and all that shit, but I don't know. I mean, I do feel happy, but not in the way I imagined," Niall explained a little awkwardly as he looked up at Harry who had a small understanding smile on his face. If Niall was being honest, back when they started this whole fake dating thing nearly two months ago, he never thought he'd end up gaining a best friend. He could literally talk about anything with Harry. Conversations were so easy with him and Niall felt like he could trust him with his feelings in a way that maybe Liam or Zayn wouldn't understand. He just hoped things continued this well once Harry got together with Louis.

"It's normal. Crushes come and go and you probably thought at some point that Shawn could be more, but now you're realizing that he's not what you want," Harry reassures Niall, telling him that it's okay if he doesn't feel the same anymore. "Besides Shawn, do you like anyone else?"

"Um no. At least I don't think so?"

"Confused then?"

"Very." Niall sighs tiredly.

After their dinner together, Niall goes another three days without seeing Harry or talking to him. Both are too busy now a days, though Niall finds out from Liam that Harry and Louis have gotten impossibly closer and that Harry told Liam that he's not sure he can wait around for Louis anymore and just wants to ask him out. Niall doesn't understand why hearing that makes his heart ache. It almost felt like being replaced, but Niall knew that was crazy and he'd known that eventually Harry and Louis would get together. It's not like Harry would magically wake up one day asking Niall out for real. Definitely not.

While that happened, Niall talked with Shawn more and they'd even gone out for coffee and Niall had a lot of fun. He laughed and they talked about random things, just mostly things hey liked to do or watch but there was still something there in the way Niall felt for Shawn. It was like a candle, it wasn't burnt out, but the flame was low enough to keep him warm. His heart still raced a bit and he got nervous when Shawn looked his way.

It was on Saturday, just three days before winter break when it happened. Niall had been heading towards his dorm after a long morning at the diner when he saw Louis walking down the hall towards him with a smirk on his face. The halls were mostly empty, considering some had already left or were busy. A few doors had Christmas decorations and while they usually cheered Niall up, just the presence of Louis was enough to dampen his mood.

"What's up, buttercup?" Louis asks as he walks closer to the blonde who scoffs and tries going around to walk past him, but Louis simply moves and blocks his way. "Aww, still mad?"

"You're a fucking asshole you know? You fucking broke me and you think it's all just a joke to you? Did your mother not raise you right?" Niall asked angrily, glaring at Louis and knowing very well it was a low blow when he brought up his mother since she'd been a single mom of five for so long.

"Don't fucking bring my mother into this, Horan. It's been years, let it go."

"How can I let something like that go?! You hurt me in the worst possible way, Louis! Hell, cheating on me would have hurt a lot less than leaking a video of me giving you a blow job to the whole fucking school!" Niall shouted, tears blurring his vision and his hands clenching into fists at his side as he tried to keep his breathing steady. He needed to confront Louis and he would not be having a panic attack. He would not show Louis that he was still broken up over that.

"So what, you're getting revenge on me by going out with the guy I like? Didn't know you were that petty," Louis says as he pins Niall to the wall. "Are you mad that I never liked you the way I like him? I mean, sure you were pretty cute, still are, but I never felt anything for you. Not really anyways. Sure you were a good fuck-"

Niall managed to shove Louis away from him angrily as tears slipped down his cheeks.

"You're disgusting. Just tell me something, how would you feel if a guy did this to your sisters? How would you react then? Would you tell them to suck it up because it was just a joke? Would you tell them that it was funny when you did it to me?"

"Stop bringing up my family into this," Louis warned him in a shaky voice as he backed Niall into the wall again, looking like he was seconds away from hitting the blonde. Niall didn't care though. He needed to make Louis see how wrong it was.

"Can't handle the thought? Maybe next time think twice before ruining someone's life."

From how close they were standing, Niall saw the exact moment when Louis' angry blue eyes turned sad as he looked at Niall. The regret was now there, but it didn't do anything to satisfy the blonde.

"God I- I didn't," Louis stammered, unsure if Niall would believe in his apology.

"I trusted you with my heart, Louis. I fell in love with the guy who took me on dates and held my hand even if we were just sitting on your couch. I fell in love with the first guy who was ever interested in me like that. I even blamed myself for a bit. Thought that if I hadn't been so quick to spread my legs for you, maybe you would have stayed a bit longer," Niall tells him in a hoarse voice, a steady stream of tears falling from his eyes as Louis looked away from him to avoid seeing his heartbroken expression.

"I started doing drugs before I met you. I owed the guy money and when he found out I was dating you, he said he wasn't gonna make me pay in exchange for a video of you. I- I never thought he'd leak it though!" Louis tried to explain and Niall scoffed.

"What'd you think he was going to do? Masturbate to it?!" Niall asked angrily, hands on Louis' chest to push him away but Louis grabs his wrists gently.

"I'm so sorry. Hurting you was never my intention, Ni. I really liked you and you were the best thing that ever happened to me," Louis tells him softly as he strokes Niall's cheek with his knuckles and wiping away his tears in the process.

"Then why wasn't I enough for you?"

The two are unaware of Zayn and Harry who are approaching the two with confused looks, but stopped a few feet away to give them the privacy they probably needed.

"I don't know if I should go up there and rescue Niall or let them talk things out," Zayn mumbles, eyes filled with concern and wanting to reach out to comfort his best friend who was still crying.

Harry stood quietly wishing he knew what Zayn obviously knew about Niall and Louis' past. He wanted to know why the two couldn't stand each other, though the hate came more from Niall's part then Louis'.

"I know I don't deserve it because I've been such an ass to you all this time, but I promise I'll change and I promise to work for your forgiveness," Louis tells Niall who shakes his head as he looks down at where Louis' fingers are wrapped around his wrists.

"You don't need to promise me anything. I don't know if I'll ever be ready to forgive you," Niall replies honestly as he attempts to move away but Louis holds him in place.

All three are shocked when Louis presses his lips against Niall's softly and Harry feels like someone dumped a bucket of cold water on him. Harry leaves just before Niall pushes Louis away, angry at the blonde and thinking that Niall lied to him.

"Don't ever do that again," Niall warns Louis angrily as he steps out of Louis' reach and his gaze locks on Zayn who's glaring at Louis.

"What's going on here?" Zayn finally asks as he steps closer to the two, holding onto Niall when the blonde wraps his arms around Zayn's waist and lets out a sob.

"I just needed to give Niall a long overdue apology," Louis says before walking away and wiping away his own tears.

"You okay, snowflake?" Zayn asks Niall softly as he hugs the crying boy tightly.

"I-I thought I c-could, b-but it still hurts too m-much," Niall cries out as he clings to Zayn desperately.

"I know it does babe and if you're not ever ready to forgive him than that's okay. You should talk to Harry though, he saw when you guys kissed."

"W-What? He- oh my gosh."

Niall ran off in search of Harry, eventually finding him outside sitting at their table despite the cold temperature and the lightly falling snowflakes. Niall stops in front of him, his tear stained cheeks feeling numb out in the cold.

"H-Harry?" Niall called out timidly, hands shaking in the pockets of his coat.

Harry looked up with anger and betrayal shining in his eyes, making Niall take a step back unconsciously. He'd never seen Harry angry and quite honestly, it was a little frightening.

"Now I get why you always acted like you hated him. You like Louis, don't you?" Harry asks the blonde, glaring at him and Niall flinches.

"What?! That's not- That's not true! I don't like Louis like that."

"I saw you, Niall! You two were kissing."

"But it didn't mean anything! He likes you and I like yo- why are you only mad at me? It takes two to tango," Niall asked Harry, ignoring the looks they were getting from the few people that were outside. "Besides, he kissed me first. I don't like Louis like that and- you know what? You don't deserve an explanation because you don't know what happened years ago between him and I."

"Because you won't tell me."

"Because I don't need to! It was humiliating and talking to Louis earlier only brought all of those bad things back and- I'm just tired and I'm not going to keep arguing with you. Believe what you want Harry, but there's really nothing between Louis and I."

"Either way, I don't want to do this fake dating thing and until I can clear things, I don't want to keep in contact with you. It hurts that you can't trust me," Harry says softly before walking away, leaving behind a brokenhearted Niall who sat down on the picnic table as he let out a choked sob.

"Ni?" Someone called out quietly and Niall turned in the direction of the voice, coming face to face with a worried Shawn. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"H-Harry," Niall stutters out before he's wrapping his arms around Shawn who hugs him tight.

"Come on, let's go to your dorm, you're freezing. You can explain when we get you warmed up."

*

"He had a fight with Harry because of Louis and as far as it goes, Harry doesn't want to talk to Niall," Shawn explains to Liam quietly, not wanting to wake up Niall who had fallen asleep after having told Shawn everything that happened since Louis cornered him in the hallway.

"Fuck, I knew something like this would happen," Liam mumbles as he runs a hand through his hair. "Did Niall tell you anything else?"

"Just that he might end up going home tomorrow, but he's pretty upset over everything."

"Figures. Thanks Shawn, I'll keep an eye on him."

Shawn nods and Liam waits until he's gone before he's heading towards Niall's bed and taking a seat next to him, texting Zayn to tell him what had happened. Niall shifts a bit until his eyes open and he's staring up at Liam sadly.

"Hi, kid," Liam greets him fondly, running a hand through Niall's blonde hair. "How are you?"

"Dealing with heartbreak all over again. I- You were right. This whole fake dating thing was a bad idea, but who knew I'd end up falling for Harry Styles," Niall confesses sadly and Liam's fingers freeze in Niall's hair for a moment. "He's still crazy about Louis though and now he hates me so I guess it's best if I just forgot about that."

"Hey, he doesn't hate you. He might be upset, but he'll come around. And as for you liking Harry, that's a bit of a shock but I also kinda saw that coming. What happened to having a massive crush on Shawn?"

"I still like him, but not like I used too. He's a great guy and I still feel things for him, but not like I did before this thing with Harry started." Liam nods in understanding and lets out a small sigh. "It hurts, Li. Why does it hurt?"

"I wish I knew, but luckily for you winter break is coming up in a few days so you can take that time to get some rest and forget this mess," Liam tells the blonde softly as Niall shifts to place his head on Liam's lap. "And as long as you have your best friends around, we'll be here to help cheer you up again."

"You're the best, you know?"

"I do. Now, wanna go to Zayn's? We can eat junk food and watch movies until late."

Niall nods excitedly and gets off the bed, heading towards the bathroom while Liam sent Zayn a text to confirm their plans since Zayn had sent a text earlier.

As they head towards Liam's car, they see Harry and Louis walking and holding hands and laughing. Liam sighs as he wraps an arm around Niall's shoulders, catching the blonde's sad gaze staring at the two who hadn't noticed them yet. It makes Liam wish he'd done more to avoid this situation.

"Come on," Liam says softly as he nudges Niall to get inside the car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rewrote this chapter like four times and it's still not up to my liking, but whatever.
> 
> I bought these really cute high heels yesterday, but I won't be able to wear them for this party I'm going to on Sunday because I hurt my left toe last week and it's still bruised and a little swollen and they really hurt my toe and now I'm sad.

**Author's Note:**

> Updated when possible!!


End file.
